Good job for standing your ground and drawing boundaries. I have similar problems but a few years ago I did just that. A lot of anguish and strong emotions went through me as my mother went mad and extremely angry with my choice. This hard decision will pay off, stay strong. I had a friend recommending this book "The Body Keeps the Score". Never got a chance to read it but it could be helpful.
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In some areas you are legally responsible for your parents if they become unable to take care of themselves. Not saying that makes it OK, but it can certainly be seen as an societal expectation.
Kids should never be anyone's "retirement plan". I think every parent hopes that their kids will love them enough to want to take care of them in their twilight years when they may need extra help, but it should not be the expectation.
Sometimes the best thing you can do in this situation is cut off your mom financially, and your family socially (or at least the ones that you know are on the side of your mom). You are not indebted to them for forcing you onto this mortal coil. Take that money and time back and start living your life for yourself.
Your parents are obligated to take care of you when you first come into the world. I don't think you need to repay them for that obligation. They made you. You didn't ask to be born. It's the least they can do. That's how I view it and I know it's not standard.
I love my mom and I would try to take care of her if/when she needs help with her age, but I wouldn't say I feel obligated.
She raised me for the first twenty years. I have repaid with interest already.
This is so backwards.
Raising someone isn't something you do with an expectation of being repaid. They didn't choose to be born, or raised. The parent(s) chose this. And the love of the child is what should fuel the raising, and it should pay for itself.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. ❤️
I think its fair to expect your children to take care of you when youre old. But you also need to treat them well enough whrre they want to. Sounds like she hasn't done the 2nd part.
Taking care of them shouldn't require you to spend all your money, they still need a retirement plan.
This seems to be an overwhelmingly one-sided perspective to the point of it being unfair; and I refuse to voice my opinion on it.
Shame to see you downvoted. This person is clearly not looking for advice.