this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 52 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ah yes because Jesus was known for his condescending, judgmental attitudes against others.

[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Is Jesus God? Because God had some pretty shitty things to say about women and gay folk. πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

The Old Testament, to me at least, is essentially worthless. It has likely been mistranslated and misinterpreted over the many, many centuries of its existence to the point where its original meaning (if it had any in the first place) is gone.

The NT is at least more readable and contains quite a bit of wisdom. Message is pretty simple: essentially, love and forgive others. Which we could all do more of, especially in this day and age.

What I don’t necessarily agree with is needing obedience to a central dogma or organized religion…I think the only thing that matters is how you live your life and treat others. Doesn’t matter the religion, or lack of religion. We are all equal.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

that would be an ecumenical matter

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 16 points 1 day ago

Cum with us!

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 42 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Can bukake be used as a baptism if it happens in a church?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The church I grew up believed in immersion, not sprinkling. It's not a no, but it's gonna be more difficult.

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Logistical problems aside, if it’s a non-Newtonian fluid, it’s going to be an issue.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago

We'll deal with them walking on it if and when it happens

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I am church contracted cum supplier, noseplugs sold separately

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Now there's a brand new sentence (probably)

nah I bet you could find a dozen death metal bands with that as the lyrics

[–] knightmare1147@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Thank you, Internet.

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 13 points 2 days ago

Well it’s obvious Becca wants to open up and be filled with the Holy Spirit, and that got me thinking.

Let’s face it, that question has probably been at least thought of by Catholic priests before.

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

No thanks, Satan gave me a good deal for mine.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 31 points 2 days ago

The sound like the second most insufferable couple ever, right after the couple that is going through a very public breakup right now.

[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 176 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Nah. They're shopping for a third.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 83 points 3 days ago (5 children)

More specifically, a handmaid.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Blessed be the fruit.

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[–] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

Nah, they're Mormons. They're actually this crazy

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating

we’ve been together for 13 years

thank you jesus

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If the loophole works it means God is okay with gay sex

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago

Why do you think he put the prostate up there? 🀭

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[–] VirgilMastercard@reddthat.com 103 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man

[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 62 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 56 points 3 days ago

We can only assume that if soaking isn't premarital sex, then it can't be extramarital sex either.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 33 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Weird way of looking for a threesome with another threesome but okay.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

"Come with us!"

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 63 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I'll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 47 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said "you're so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder."

Joseph Smith: "No need to make them exclusive."

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[–] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If I saw this in the wild, I'd immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm willing to go to church on her, not interested in the guy though

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Give him a chance. He just wants to watch.

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[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

As long as you only soak it, he won't be able to object.

[–] dylanmorgan@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Becca and Spencer and some faint gray streaks on white background.

[–] M137@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

*this is a real offer to cum with us!!

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 24 points 3 days ago (4 children)

But you guys will put out after Church, right?

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