this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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Today I Learned

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[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

How much cum?

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 49 points 2 days ago (6 children)

someone, at some point, took the biggest dump in history. and didn't even know it

They suspected. They couldn't confirm it.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

``Doesn't seem fair if you count diarrhea. All that water weight.

If so, it's probably someone with cholera

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 5 points 2 days ago

My $ is that it’s been someone in the last 30 years who is a big eater with an opiate habit.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I am currently in process. Haven't stopped pooping for 17 years.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You should see a doctor for that

The doctors made me this way I'm not sure what they're gonna do to help

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

That's probably why the YMCA won't let you in.

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[–] Numenor@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] snrkl@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Of what, a metric shit-ton?

🤣

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

A metric half shit-ton.

[–] ABetterTomorrow@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Where does that all go?!?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

You load 3.5 tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in shit

St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go

My toilet over-flows on the company floor

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Double that for me.

Rookie numbers

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

OP is full of shit.

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How many miles of feces? Are we talking to the scale of as long as the Panama canal, the length of New York, around the equator, or to the moon (and back)?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

The average density of human feces is approximately 1.06 grams per milliliter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_feces

Normal stool (Type 4) typically has a diameter of about 1 to 2 cm http://d2xk4h2me8pjt2.cloudfront.net/webjc/attachments/73/57bbee4-bristol-stool-chart.pdf

Radius = 0.75 cm

Density = 1.06 g/cm³

Mass = 3,500,000 g

Volume = 3,500,000 / 1.06 = ~3,301,887 cm³

Cross-sectional area = π × 0.75² = ~1.767 cm²

Length = 3,301,887 / 1.767 = ~1,868,000 cm = 18,680 m = 18.7 km

So 18.7km or 11.6 miles

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[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Mom look im finally above average

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Those are rookie numbers!

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

My uncle knocks that out every leap year. 3,5 tons ain’t shit.

[–] Goretantath@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

3 and a half metric shit tons.

[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 4 points 2 days ago

I feel like I'm trending in line to make at least like 6 metric tons of shit. 3.5 seems low.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago

I'm going for the high score

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Sandman slim taught me that you can shit on a tarp for a year, dry it in the sun, and all that shit will fit in a shoebox at the end of the year.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Nah, you're supposed to shit in a bottle and cover it with a balloon and leave it in the sun until the balloon is inflated and then inhale.

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