this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
394 points (91.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

31850 readers
5034 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 5) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Complete and total control over my own body down to the molecular level.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] eldoom@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 week ago (11 children)

I can now shoot fresh spaghetti from my fingertips. Each fingertip shoots a continuous spaghetti noodle at an alarming rate with a range of about 4 feet. My thumbs will shoot a delicious meat sauce at a comparable rate and range.

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Even though it's delicious, it's violently spicy. Just like wolverine you feel every thing.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You can control the digestive systems of others

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] shaquilleoatmeal@lemm.ee 13 points 1 week ago (17 children)
load more comments (17 replies)
[–] dan69@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (7 children)
[–] sweetgemberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 week ago

Your clothes do not teleport with you

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Ability to become any fictional character with all their skills and powers while retaining my identity.

[–] BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But: the "transformation" takes two weeks, and is extremely painful.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] inlandempire@jlai.lu 12 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I am now able to speak to all animals, and understand them all

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

Superpower - Simon the likeable. I come across to everyone as so calming, disarming, friendly and persuasive that I can convince anyone to do anything just by talking to them.

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Everyone who interacts with you immediately forgets who you are or why they are doing what you convince them to do as soon as they stop seeing and hearing you. They will continue to do as you instructed them, but they won't know why. Once it's done, they will continue life as though they've never met you unless you introduce yourself again.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] MTK@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (15 children)
[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (14 replies)
[–] kinther@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Every time I brush my teeth, they glow in the dark for the next 24 hours

[–] undone@lemm.ee 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

With the brightness of 1.000 suns

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] atlien51@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago (5 children)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 11 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Necromancy with revived person having all memories and intellect, but me having final say

[–] kaprap@leminal.space 13 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Every person you revive is gender bent to the opposite sex :3

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›