I’m a useless, pathetic dog. I’m a worthless creep who will never have value or amount to anything, just like she said.
Even the most accepting people hate me and throw me away in the end. They like my autistic friend more than me. They think I’m disgusting and never will forgive me for missing social cues.
If even the kindest people make me sad and give me mental problems, and even the kindest people hate me, then I must be a terrible person.
And the mental problems I currently have make me a terrible daughter. A terrible girlfriend who can’t be there for her boyfriend. A terrible person.
This will be the saddest way our relationship has to end. This time, it won’t be because they don’t get along, but because I’ll be dead just like she wants.
I hope he finds a better gf. Maybe I won’t be dead anyway. I’ll be taking a shower soon so it could give me time to think and clear my mind.
I try to work on myself and be a better person, one that everyone wants, but I can never be what they want or they threaten me. I will never be forgiven and I’ll always be scum who should die to them.
Honestly, I may not do it, because I CAN’T FIND A WAY WITHOUT COWERING, but you can
violent
honestly put one in the back of my head
or something lol. or find another way to do it, like euthanasia. for now, i’ll try to live, but still.
For now I’m done. I doubt it but I could become a symbol of discrimination or something: a girl whose life was so filled with discrimination she died. But I could live and tell the tale as a survivor
I love you, my boyfriend 💕
And my family ❤️
But I fucking hate you, even if you were right, Bella. I know you won’t feel guilty for being so cruel a life may be taken or threatened, but it’s okay.