this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

"Pizza's done"

It isn't like the enemy is going to be alive to ponder whatever I say and whoever recounts the tale will make up something more memorable anyway.

[–] HerrVorragend@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

This will really hurt tommorrow, I guess.

[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 9 points 1 week ago

Sphynx of black quartz, JUDGE MY VOW!

[–] untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Be sure to drink your ovaltine

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

"I-...fuck me, I had something ready for thi--"

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sir, permission to leave the station.

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For what purpose, Master Chief?

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

To give the Covenant back their bomb.

Goosebumps

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[–] TerranFenrir@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay, I know this is a really bad idea but I'm already here so Here we fucking go... RAWR!!

x3 nuzzles! pounces on you uwu you so warm Couldn’t help but notice your buldge from across the floor Nuzzles yo' necky wecky-tilda murr-tilda hehe Unzips yo baggy ass pants, oof baby you so musky Take me home, pet me, 'n’ make me yours and don't forget to stuff me! See me wag my widdle baby tail all for your buldgy-wuldgy! Kissies 'n' lickies yo neck I hope daddy likies Nuzzles 'n' wuzzles yo chest (yuh) I be (yeah) gettin' thirsty

Hey, I got a little itch, you think you can help me? Only seven inches long uwu PLEASE ADOPT ME Paws on your buldge as I lick my lips (uwu punish me please) 'Boutta hit ’em with this furry shit (he don’t see it comin')

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[–] kyle@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Death is light as a feather

Duty heavy as a mountain

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[–] Zugyuk@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Something to do with precious bodily fluids

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[–] Dicska@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I did a quick search and was shocked to find zero hits to

"Superman".

[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

“Shit, did I leave the stove on?”

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Looking at the enemy: Tell me if you heard this one. What did the Homo Sapiens say to the alien? Detonates the bomb

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"And when I get to Heaven,
To St Peter I will tell;
Quarter pounder cheese and a big mac please,
And a side of fries as well."

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Whoops, had the timer upside down.

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Here we go! ( Mario voice)

[–] Nerrad@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

"Pull my finger, Bitch. I dare you."

[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

Click, click <>

[–] borokov@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Nobody wins a war...

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago

Pasta la vista, baby.

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] FringeTheory999@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Make THIS great, asshole!

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

There's so many good stories where some brave hero has to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors cheer, and everyone lives happily ever after. But the hero never gets to see the ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.

Ain’t that a bitch?

[–] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago

He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the castle of aaaughhh

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Do you have clean underwear on, punk? Your momma warned you about today.

(I'm not very good at this)

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[–] Opi@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] bufalo1973@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Let's see if this time it fails, unlike the other times"

[–] callyral@pawb.social 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] waxaviercarr@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago
[–] VerbFlow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I'll show you true human nature.

[–] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago

Nothing personnel, kid.

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