I fart in the envelopes then they are like 'yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!'
this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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I know/hope this is a joke but people used to do this at an independent, third party, mail sorting place I worked at as a teenager.
They’d mail all sorts of shit (both literal and figurative) and it was basically handled by one guy who seemed ok with it but was definitely not ok.
Mail them lead, weights, whatever. But please, no matter how despicable the company, there’s likely some at very least mildly abused worker who is just trying to earn a wage and has to deal with the vile shit people try to punish companies with.
Basically the same thing they do when they send these things in unmarked envelopes.
I read this as you wrote it: "its farts", like the envelope has farts, vs "it is farts". Both are technically correct, but seems so much funnier that way.
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IF you're going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn't sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm
Like 70lbs of neutronium in a USPS flat rate box?
Considering the density of neutronium, a 70 lb piece would be about the size of a dust mote, if not much smaller. Good luck getting a standard box to hold something that small and dense.
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When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.
When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.
I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.
So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.
It was quite cathartic.
I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls... They called me back lol
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I just put another company's junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.
Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I've been needing to get rid of.
If it wasn't shitty towards the post office people I would support it.
But under 10 lbs...
Sadly we have a weight and size limit on these, but if you can load a mini fridge and keep it under 70lbs it should be accepted.
Legally this is not shipping advice and purely a shitpost
Shiptost.
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Now you have to cut up your refrigerator into 10lbs pieces
What about the body inside?
Liquify and add to old beverage bottles. Simple and fun for the whole office upon opening!
USPS got so pissed at me for just leaving my junk mail in the box. I told them over and over I didn't need trash delivered to my place. In the end, I just stopped all USPS deliveries. I had nothing of importance coming in through the mail.
Postal Employee: "May I help you?"
Kramer: "Yeah, I'd like to cancel my mail."
Postal Employee: "Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?"
Kramer: "Oh, no, no. I don't think you get me. I want out, permanently."
That's an option?
No, stopping all USPS deliveries is not an option. They can usually hold mail for up to 30 days if you apply for it, but I think this even varies by local office.
You can, however, refuse some mail. This is a manual process. You can also apply to be removed from mailing lists, which is almost certainly what the other poster did.
ETA: instead of, or at least in addition to downvoting me could you comment to correct me?
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Let's all do our part to help little boulders travel
Glaciers take millions of years to deposit boulders across the land.
Humans: "we can do better."
If there's one thing we're good at, it's moving rocks around
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I once sent a thick telephone book with "Return to Sender - not at this address" on it after receiving mail addressed the previous house owner. This was after receiving their junk mail over several years and returning it with the same message scribbled on the envelope. This tactic finally worked and stopped the junk mail coming.
This must've been a long time ago. Otherwise where would you find a phone book, let alone a thick one.
Check the barcode on the bottom and make sure it doesn't have your information in it.
What can they do? Send you more junk mail?
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Don't use a rock, use 10lb of glitter.
Nah. That would piss off the mailroom employees, but they don't control who gets sent mail. The weight costing money does hurt the people who make the marketing decisions, though.
nah doesnt just piss them off... it now confettis the mailroom which guarantees a janitors employment. this is how you generate low skill labor jobs! its a win win.
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I have long fantasized about doing this exact same thing, especially to MAGA-types who somehow got my address and are mailing me requests for donations. Someone in those groups as well as THE SALVATION ARMY have discovered that those postage guaranteed reply envelopes cost money and prompt this response. So now all that stuff requires a stamp if you want to reply. I hope that's cut down on their fundraising efforts.
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