Despite being a shitpost this is actually quite a positive statement for your own mental health
this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can outrun a shark. So in a triathlon it comes down to the bicycle part.
Yeah but monkeys have hands on their feet, so they can pull on the pedal's upstroke as well as push on the downstroke βοΈ
I'd love to meet one of those few. A skateboarder eating that much krill has to be such an amazing spectacle
I wanna see a whale do a kickflip more, that would be wicked as fuck!
Pretty cool, but I think I'd rather watch a teenager in baggypants break the laws of physics entirely by consuming multiple times his body mass
What that fuck? I was just having a piss and I fucking read your comment and - it didn't, but - what if my snort of laughter when I did had caused my fucking urine stream to shoot back and to the left and fucking soaked my spare toilet rolls? Did you fucking think about that when ou posted? FFS.
Are you, by chance, a dolphin or whale?
Apologies, I hadn't considered the impact my comment might have on the urinary tract of innocent readers
I think we've just reinvented the Xgames.
very few whales, not 0. That's something I want to see!
Just because you've never seen a whale do a kickflip doesn't mean they can't.
It only says most can't - but we'll never be able to prove that such a whale does not exist at all.
They would just rather not
Wouldn't they do flipper-flips instead?
Does one need feet to kick?
One needs legs, I'd say, so a spider can do 4 kickflips at once
It's true, I can't even put away a million krill before I start feeling like a glutton.
Bro... if you're not downing at least 10M krill per day, the Kraken wins.
I can drink hydrochloric acid without dyeing
Watch out, that stuff can die your clothes.
All clothes dead, even the little socks
I had my first class on heterogeneity in the classroom today and the teacher would have loved this tweet
Why not share it with teacher?
Iβd have to wait two weeks, because she doesnβt check her email, but I already bookmarked it