I would never use “for me” in any of those phrases.
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
6 points (87.5% liked)
English usage and grammar
364 readers
1 users here now
A community to discuss and ask questions about English usage and grammar.
If your post refers to a specific English variant, please indicate it within square brackets (for instance [Canadian]).
Online resources:
- Cambridge English Dictionary
- Merriam-Webster Dictionary and Thesaurus
- Gilman's Webster's Dictionary of English Usage. This is a great and witty reference about usage, its history, and its controveries
Sibling communities:
Rules of conduct:
The usual ones on Lemmy and Mastodon.. In short: be kind or at least respectful, no offensive language, no harassment, no spam.
(Icon: entry "English" in the Oxford English Dictionary, 1933. Banner: page from Chaucer's "The Wife of Bath's Tale".)
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
And "to me" sounds natural in all of them?
Thanks!
Yes. The only case I can think of where I might say “for me” in one of those is talking about an inevitable future event where I have no real choice.
e.g. if I only have beans in my cupboard, I might reasonably say “it looks like beans for me [for supper tonight]”. Or if I am sure I will die soon, “it seems like the end for me.”
As a native English speaker it always blows my mind when people explain the unwritten rules. I know there's a reason some things sound more "proper" than others but just think "that's the way it is" without understanding the core reasoning. I feel like I had an epiphany after reading this lol
That makes sense!
So "for me" implies something is forced upon you, and it has nothing to do with what your opinion is about that thing... right?
Thanks!
Yes, exactly!
Although I could express an opinion if I put “for me” first. Like “for me, beans are the worst meal ever”.
I am no grammarologist, but here is my take:
"To me" implies you are more passive, and that the thing is happening to you.
"For me" implies that you have some active part in experiencing the thing.
All the cases you described feel more natural as a "to me" scenario, but I can imagine instances where "for me" would be used to emphasize that it is your opinion or your experience.
Not sure if that clarified anything at all 🤷♂️
Could you add an example of the passive / active difference? Because it's the opposite of what I understood from Hawke's comment.
Thanks for the help!
For me, "for me" is more subjective than "to me", suggesting there may be other equally valid points of view.
But I would never say "It seems for me", or the other items in your list except for "...makes more sense for me...".
What I'm getting is that using "to me" as the default is a safe option and the use of "for me" is more nuanced (... and I don't understand in which sense).
Thanks!
Yes, that seems about right to me.
I can't quite put my finger on the rule for when you can use "for me"; perhaps there isn't one.
I do think, however, that you can safely put "For me," at the beginning of the sentence instead of using "to me" later: "For me, it seems...", "For me, it looks like...", etc.