No Stupid Questions

Don't tell him that he can't do something. Let him figure it out on his own.

The kid is growing up in a World on fire. People his age are screwed.

Let him do what he wants & just support him.

Let him try to aim for it..... As long as he doesn't neglect his education and other opportunities then there's no harm in giving him some years to figure this out himself the hard way.

If your asking, you probably already know the answer.

Maybe you could have said something like "A top player needs to know math, because they've got to do a lot of investing. they should have otehr languages, because they'll be playing all over the world. Science and computers because..."

I don't have kids and I don't know anything about sports. If you continue reading after those disclosures, I'll offer a perspective anyway, since you put this out to the internet for comment.

There isn't really a way you could have put this to your son that would be taken well, it's evidently sensitive for him and despite your intentions it'll feel like a tragic monent. It's just hard news. Whether it's right to break that to him, well I'm not sure but I think maybe you're putting too much emphasis on this one interaction like it was your one shot and there was a definitive right it wrong way to do it. What will matter most is more likely to be what you do generally moving forward. You may have your doubts about his ability in his chosen path and perhaps they're well founded but you can still encourage him and be rooting for him whilst gently suggesting having backup options in times when he appears uncertain. If you consistently do all you can to help in whatever way you can with whatever choices he makes, then if they don't work out and he has to abandon that dream, he'll at least know you supported him all throughout despite your concern and that should count for a lot. If somehow he ends up unexpectedly rocketing to success in football he'll also remember you'd been there all along encouraging and assisting. It's ok to counsel against putting his eggs all in one basket, but just don't push it, you must respect his choice whatever it ends up being and he there to help pick up the pieces if those choices don't make him happy.

Much like with football fans, you support your team by just showing up to every match and cheering on. Perhaps he didn't like the uncomfortable dose of reality today but so long as you are consistently a positive and helpful force he'll hopefully come to appreciate what you've been trying to do for him.

Roy Kent here.

You should support your kid, even if you're not convinced of his chances of making it. Anything else is just going to permanently damage your relationship. The best you can do is make sure he has a plan B. If he's good in school he's well on his way to that, so not much to worry about.

Same scenario with my son years back. He loved basketball and his skinny, 5ft 8" body was not going to propell him to NBA stardom. My wife accused me of crushing my son's spirits. I never discouraged him from the sport and went to every high school and travel ball ($$$) game where he mostly sat on the bench. He's in his 30s now and planning a family, so the dreams are different. I don't think I did any lasting damage.

But, would I do it the same way again? It's nuanced to be sure. We want our children to be prepared for their futures and excel, not wash out. What I would do is look for ways to help him discover, on his own, where his real talent lies and comes to the realization himself.l and be there to soften the blow to that dream. Then, if his passion is still football, help him discover all the different career options are available, on and off the field, that can keep him close to his passion.

I hope this helps. If you're asking, you're likely a better dad that many out there.

Oh, and his mother is a c#$t and I divorced her shitty ass. ;)

You're literally a professional and your first thought isn't to use your own skills to coach him to get better?

All industries that pay well are competitive.

He'll either come to realize the truth on his own, or prove you wrong. Either way, you should support him.

Is it possible to be a pro footballer without being mega famous? How did a footballer end up on lemmy?

I don’t think it needs to be said. He will figure it out on his own that he isn’t good enough to make it.

He will either find the drive to make the success or determine it isn’t worth it, or that it isn’t obtainable. That is just part of growing up and getting older. It’s a life experience in itself.

But to put it to bluntly at such a young age just isn’t necessary. It’s kind of dickish if you ask me. Ultimately he’s enjoying himself and having fun. Organically he will get over it and grow up. No need to do it for him and spoil the fun.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion: no, you’re not a jerk for doing this. Steering our children onto a realistic path of reasonable success and happiness is part of our job as parents. We should pursue this gently, but it mustn’t be avoided. Parenting is hard. We won’t always get it right.