this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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I wish my mom knew how bad she fucked up our relationship… (i.imgur.com)
submitted 1 year ago by NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
7 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I woke up rested, got my little one in to school, got home, smoked a bowl, and fired up my virtual machines to grind pennies out of crappy cash grab mobile games to waste some time this morning. Stopped to use the bathroom quick, and was admiring how my hair line is coming in. I’ve had a lot of dysphoria about my hair before I knew what that was, it was the first thing that meant a lot to me and I didn’t know why, it was the first thing they took from me to try to break my will, and it was my first panic attack. Anyway, there is a lot of emotion tied up in my hair, and I wanted to share that with somebody and my first reaction was to send a selfie to my mom, but I couldn’t. So instead I’m sitting here upset that I can’t even celebrate my simple wins with my mom because of the way she acted last time (if you’re curious, you can read her exact words in a prior post).

Anyway, One of The garbage mobile games I’m playing is monopoly go, and they have this ADORABLE pink heart shield as a reward for the tournament, and that sucker is mine 💅

Blessed be ladies 💋 XOXO

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[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I understand this part is more difficult when your parents loved you in their own way, when you didn't have a terrible relationship with them. My parents don't know I'm a woman. They don't know where I live. They don't have my email or phone number. It must be difficult to have an instinct to communicate a parent like that, especially one you've had to cut off or distance yourself from. The fact of my gender is actually fairly trivial compared to all the other things my parents never knew about me to begin with. They never knew me as a person.

I'm actually glad they aren't part of my life. I have people who actually want me in their lives, who love me and appreciate who I am, how I look, my progress, etc. You either do or will have them too. And this is as good a place to start as any. How long is your new growth? Is it a weirdly obvious different length bit? The new hair on my crown juuust got long enough to integrate into a high bun, so kow I don't have like three weird locks blowing around in the wind. I have bright blue hair and was bleach blond for a year before that, so the fact that they come in pale went unnoticed. Oh, and my new bit of bangs have made it past eye poke length, so now I have the cool girl two thin, whispy bangs look I wanted so badly in the early 2000s. They're almost long enough to get in my mouth. That'll be a fun phase. I love my hair so much x_x

[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I finally gave up on hair a few months before my egg cracked because it was too uncomfortable to look at myself, so I had been shaving it bald. The new stuff has come in blonde so it is hard to see itself, but the dark bits are getting bigger in area. the blonde is covering most all of the front to hopefully eventually make a much better natural hairline than I was anticipating. Crown is still pretty sparse, but I've heard really good things about how effective treatment is for that specific area, and frankly even if I have to keep it in a ponytail or bun to hide that specific patch, I'll take it.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At least you won't have to deal with several inches of difference xd. Have you tried taking hair growth supplement blends or supplements that support hair growth? I took a specific supplement for a while and added collagen to my routine permanently when I bleach fried a bunch of hair off. It definitely made my hair grow faster. I lived with a choppy mess pulled up one way or another until it was long enough to cut it even without leaving it short enough to make me cry anyway x_x

[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, I haven’t, but I need to up my vitamin game anyway. What did you use, dearie?

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

The bottle of specific hair supplements was just a generic hair, skin, and nails deal from like Centrum or something. It was by the prenatal vitamins that are also known for boosting hair growth. It had biotin and collagen and keratin and most of a multivitamin. These days I get biotin and vitamins from my Focus Factor and keep collagen in my routine. The collagen also helps with injection site healing, but makes my skin so tough and healthy and elastic that injection is more difficult and hurts worse to begin with x_x Worth it, though, for the overall effects on my hair, skin, and joints. Dramatically less knee pain from an old injury when I have my collagen.

[–] bucho@lemmy.one 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey - I read through some of your post history to get the back story. I know we're strangers, but I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you, and I'm happy that you're seeing positive progress on your journey, even if it's just a "simple win". It's rough not being able to count on your parents to have your back. I hope you have someone else in your life to at least partially fill that hole, but if not... just keep posting, and keep going. Strangers on the internet being proud of you and happy for you is a poor substitute for parental affection, but hopefully it's at least something. You got this. <3

[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you for reaching out

I appreciate you 😁