this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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Showerthoughts

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They seem so good in the movies, but actually taste mostly just like straight vodka, which most people aren't going to enjoy.

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[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Let's start with Vodka. What a fucking waste. Vodka, at it's best, is supposed to be flavourless. So you're already off to a terrible start. If you're asking for a Vodka Martini you're asking for Strong Vermouth.

So let's get that out of the way. You need the standard gin. Gin is delicious. There are many different Gins to choose from. Gin has actual flavor. I like Hendricks, but try and figure out which Gun you like best. Beefeater is great for a gin & tonic, might not work as well in a Martini. Try a few different options.

Now we've got Gin and vermouth. Those two work together beautifully.

Now I like a good olive. I say make that fucker dirty. Extra dirty. OLIVE ME THE FUCK UP! That's what I want. You want it straight up? Fine. I think it's packing but it's the traditional way and I won't complain. You want a cocktail onion? That's called a Gibson and I ain't complaining.

But GIN THAT FUCKER UP. Fuck off with your weak ass Vodka Martini. I don't care if it's Grey Goose or some other "fancy" shit. That ain't no Martini.

[–] MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca 2 points 16 hours ago

And you need cold ice. It should be dry and close to 0f, not wet and already melting.

[–] Zaraki42@lemmy.ca 1 points 16 hours ago

Beefeater is straight up nasty, though... I agree with the rest.

[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 day ago

And make sure to use enough vermouth! None of this “wave the vermouth bottle near the shaker” nonsense. A martini should be about 1/4 vermouth as a starting point.

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

...try and figure out which Gun you like best.

A warm one, they're happiness so I'm told.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

Bang bang, shoot shoot.

[–] DrownedRats@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I remember hearing a theory that he deliberately orders a mostly flavourless cocktail with very basic and common ingredients because it would make it easier to detect if someone had spiked his drink with something.

Standard, off the shelf ingredients means you can't just spike the whole bottle ahead of time as each ingredient is pretty standard.

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

He also liked it shaken because that waters the drink down more. Meaning he’d be able to sip it without getting as drunk.

But the sad reality is that Ian Fleming was likely just an alcoholic who wrote his own vices into his characters.

[–] drmoose@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Good gin is genuinely awesome and I generally don't like alcohol. Have you tried aged stuff like Slo Gin? It's quite a different treat

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 133 points 2 days ago (2 children)

James Bond was an alcoholic, with good reason. He didn't drink vodka martinis for the taste, he drank them to dull the pain and horrors of his job. As much as he drank, he probably didn't really taste the booze anymore.

The original James Bond from the novels was a dark and brooding high-functioning alcoholic, who operated at his best with a drink or two in him at all times. He was pretty useless without the drink. A vodka martini would quickly get him in the right headspace to accomplish his latest mission.

The movie Bond was reinvented to be this dashing, handsome womanizer who drank and smoked socially and was charming as hell. Basically, a 1950s ideal male fantasy. This Bond probably could've used a classier drink than straight vodka, but that's one aspect of the books they kept pretty loyal.

[–] Tiuku@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I haven't read the books. Is there any background for choosing vodka martinis in particular? As opposed to, say plain vodka. Was it just a more socially acceptable dose of alcohol?

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 24 points 1 day ago

2 oz vodka because much of the time, he was a spy with Russian adversaries and he wanted to blend in, also note that he doesn't specify which vodka because he actually doesn't care. 1 oz Gordon's because beneath all that he's a true red blooded Brit and he'll always proudly drink British gin. Lilet Blanc because it's not his money and he's surrounded by wealthy people so he might as well buy the most expensive vermouth in the world. Shaken not stirred because he wants the drink to be cold, causing him to drink more slowly, and because it will water it down, meaning he will appear to be drinking more than he actually is and people will underestimate him. I can't figure out any obvious subtext for the lemon twist, but it is a very classy way to have a martini. Call it a Vesper to memorialize his first love, and emphasize that he doesn't and can't have a life outside of being a spy, he's condemned to this world.

The Vesper is the best fusion of lore and a cocktail you could ever conceive and will never be topped.

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago (5 children)

The Vesper is James Bond's personal invention, from the very first novel, Casino Royale. It's basically his own custom twist on the vodka martini.

He explains he only has one drink before dinner, but he prefers it's a large one, ice cold, and made very well. He drinks plenty of other types of alcohol throughout the books, but he's pretty particular about this one evening aperitif.

The movies kind of latched onto it and just made him drink vodka martinis in general. Although the 2006 film Casino Royale had him order his custom invention from a bar, almost word-for-word from the original novel. It's named after Vesper Lynd, the first girl Bond truly fell for in the novels.

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 43 points 2 days ago (15 children)

(Though he’s probably responsible for an equal amount of wasted bourbon and whiskey)

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[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (9 children)

That's because they're watered down weak martinis. The whole reason you don't shake a martini and you should stir it is because when you shake it it chips the ice and makes it melt faster. By shaking it he's making it weaker.

[–] mattd@programming.dev 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Thank you for getting that I didn't think anyone would

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[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I read that while the martini was his signature drink, he actually is depicted drinking champagne more frequently in the films. So just drink champagne!

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[–] MelonYellow@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (16 children)

Yeah they’re vodka martinis. They ARE terrible lol. Gin is much better, more interesting with the botanicals. I usually do Beefeater gin if they have it

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[–] hmonkey@lemy.lol 16 points 2 days ago (6 children)

I like them. I make sure to request "extra dirty" so I get a good olive flavor

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