Canada

Before we miss our window: 50% export tax on hydro, oil and potash. And start charging tolls to ship by road through BC to Alaska.

Nationalize US pharma patents.

Nationalize strategic resources, in particular oil.

Offer US scientists, engineers and doctors research labs and startup funds.

Kill USMCA dairy quotas...RFKs FDA is a threat to a healthy milk supply anyway, and we need to look out for national health.

And if the incoming tariffs kill US auto makers, repurpose for Canadian made EVs.

And don't forget to restrict US investment, particularly in key strategic resources. We can't let them execute a hostile corporate takeover.

We don't want their dairy...

Nothing should be off the table.

In that case, how about Canada gets Washington and Oregon, and the US tosses out Citizens United and moves to a proportional representation model in all Federal politics? We’ll wait while the states align on this.

Dear Mr Sondland,

Go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,

Canada

These people are such scum.

They don't get to say jack shit about the way we run things. Just because they ruined everything about their own country, doesn't mean they get to waddle up here and start taking our shit like they have some kind of right to it. America won't be happy till they drag everyone down into the dirt with them.

Fucking pathetic.

That means one of the options could be Trump's resignation. Right? Right?

Trump called it when the deal was signed, The greatest trade pact of its kind! But then—oh no!—Trump changed his tune, And now he’s threatening to annex us soon!

“Join us now!” he says out loud, As if we’d cheer, as if we’d bow! We are Canadians—strong and free! Don’t fuck with our identity.

Oh I'm so sorry Canada isn't even more dependent on U.S. business nor vulnerable to their monopsonistic* agendas. You know what is on the table? Leaving that sheet of paper blank.

All Canada needs is a good deal on sale of the resources they need. 25% tariffs just sweeten any deal with the rest of the free-trade-loving world despite higher transportation overhead. It seems the U.S. doesn't want to compete using their natural geographic advantage, but rather just find more ways to exploit and abuse its trading partners. And why? Because their oligarchs are getting too fat and hungry for even the most powerful nation in the world to feed. Their looming debt collapse is entirely a demise of their own making. The U.S. has always made helping to feed that beast a cost of doing business. But at some point the cost outweighs the benefit.

And I'm starting to think, with some amazement, that there isn't just a way to survive these dark times. There's actually a path forward that could see a brighter, fairer world in our own lifetimes. We just have to starve the beast back into submission. If the U.S. were to outright collapse into a failed, fractured state, the impact on world order would be utterly catastrophic. WW3 is what's on the table. But there is still a softer landing within reach. If we can manage the transition by limiting it to a manageable pace and building up other friendly military powers, America will have successfully surrendered all of its surplus power and influence to its allies.

As the entire free world pivots away from doing business with the U.S. and instead strengthens ties with each other, there will no longer be one oligarchy in a trench coat dictating the free world's relationship with capital. Americans still have time to start realizing how utterly fucked they will be in this new isolationist frontier, but good for us if they don't. Some day we may see free trade deals getting made that require the U.S. to compromise their economic values, and comply with other nations' standards for tax, IP, and labor law. We could see an end to nations competing via subsidy and tax break (to say nothing of labor exploitation) for private investments.

So let me be among the first to most warmly and joyously welcome Dumpster's team to take their ball and go home. They can keep their starving oligarchs too.

Is this crazy talk?

*(Oh the irony...my browser's American English spell check doesn't think monopsonistic is even a word.)