Reminder that you can achieve a free X Attack by taking away their iPad.
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2025
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If you want the same thing but for the remainder of your life, get a bird. Parrots are basically flying mischievous toddlers with beam cutters on their faces that never grow out of the toddler mentality.
Serious addendum
If you actually want to get a bird as a pet, please do your research. They're smart, loud, social and high maintenance, and you need to be there for them basically all the time. Also, adopt, don't buy!
When I was a kid, our neighbors had parrots.
One late afternoon my mom hears my baby sister crying in her room. Gets up. Checks on her. Sleeping soundly in her bed.
Half an hour later. Crying again. Same thing, my sister is sleeping
This happened a couple times
Took a couple days for my mom to figure out that one of the parrots learned to imitate my crying sister perfectly, and she could hear it when my neighbor had his windows open
My grandma once told me about a budgie they had back before I was born. It apparently was actively trolling them by mimicking sounds of their doorbell and landline phone.
Don't make a mistake, they know perfectly fine which sounds grab our attention and they will abuse this knowledge.
When I was a child, my best friend's mom had a parrot named Ricky. It either hated or loved me, I was never sure; either way, I was terrified of it and preferred not to go near it.
As an adult, I once walked out to my car to find a parrot perched on my windshield wiper. I only had that parrot one night (in no way was I prepared to house a bird, I took it to an exotic bird shelter the next day), but it was much kinder than Ricky. Strangely, it did not like our cats
Every parrot has a personality, that's for sure! You're a kind person for having helped that bird, I hope that good deed came back (or will come back) to you
Well, thanks for saying so! That was a long long time ago and plenty, good and bad (though mostly good, I'm very fortunate), has happened since then.
Below are some answers to things you didn't ask, but they're among my memories of the evening, so here I shall share. You won't miss much if you don't read them.
That story happened later in the evening, I think on a weekend, so we walked around our neighborhood asking anyone we saw if they knew someone with a bird nearby. No one did, though one person suggested someone who might. We knocked on that door but never got an answer, so decided to go to the bird shelter when it opened the next day.
I remember that we originally tried to put the bird in the cat carrier so it wouldn't destroy the house or get in a fight with the cats, but it didn't want to go in. My then girlfriend (now wife) suggested that maybe it didn't want to go in a box that smelled of predator. I have anosmia, so the idea that smell would matter that much seemed alien to me; I figured it just didn't want to be contained. However, we ended up going to a pet store the next day to get a bird cage for transport. It went in with no issue, so I guess she was right.
For overnight we ended up just putting it in the bathroom with the door closed and a bowl of whatever Google said was appropriate parrot food.
Thanks for sharing the story! Birds do have a decently sharp sense of smell, despite a widespread factoid of the opposite - plus, the shape of a cat carrier might have been too unfamiliar to it. Parrots are usually very suspicious about anything unfamiliar (new food, toy, etc), but I'm guessing it was also exhausted from being lost outdoors (if it was a pet) so a new bird cage was close enough for it.
Wow, you're quick. Also up pretty late (or early) in my timezone.
Most of my close-up experience with birds has been from the aforementioned friend's mom (she had several, not just Ricky) and most of that experience was being terrorized, puked on, or both. Despite that, they do seem like clever and interesting animals. Still, even if I didn't have cats (I still have the same two from that story, though they're getting old now), I don't think I could have them as pets.
Hah, It's 10 AM here and I have nothing better to do anyway.
But yeah, that was the point of my original comment - birds definitely aren't a pet for everyone, and it's okay to acknowledge that!
I do like cats too, though, give yours some pats (or whatever their preferred gesture of affection is) from me.
At the time, it was 4am for me.
Absolutely, I'll make sure my cats know of your affection!
Usually frowned upon.
We need more genius comedy like Gravity Falls.
Well yeah, first you have to level it up to 8 or so and then you can enroll it in fighting school
There's no professor to study it and take it either.
That's why I became a martial arts instructor.
So I could kick toddlers without it being frowned upon.
Daycare and candy works though!
Or just take them to the battle arena (indoor playground).
Waah, why is the picture slightly tilted? O.o
I guess to circumvent reposting detection/guidelines on some platform
Why is this image tilted?
Better? 😉
It’s got KFC logo syndrome.
A toddler put it there
Are you sure you're not leaning slightly?
You're right, it's kind of shifted on its Praxis
First I was confused, Butt then I realised this was fairly funny indeed 👏
Toddler uses crying.
It's very effective!
Also capturing wild toddlers and keeping them in tiny spherical prisons is frowned on.
That's a strange way to describe pregnancy.
Get back in that womb! Don't make me count
Sounds like my dog. I've always said that that dog is like an eternal toddler.
Yea i've found that I have limited tolerance for both toddlers and dogs for very similar reasons.
Ash Ketchum certainly has a different flavor in this version of the world.
They are both worth it, after some time.
Toddler uses bite. It's super effective!
Toddler wants to learn Walking
Mall playgrounds are gyms
so dodgeball is defense training?
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.