this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025

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187

Does anyone else get so tired and depressed from saying you're good when people ask how you are? (lemmy.world)

submitted 23 hours ago by LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

73 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Every day, all day, I have to lie to clients at work and tell them I'm good. I'm far from good and lying about it constantly is killing me.

I'm incredibly lonely and almost everything I usually enjoy feels like a goddamn chore.

Anyone else here feel like that? If so, how do y'all cope?

(page 2) 24 comments

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[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

As others have pointed out, the problem is "How are you?" on its own is generally a greeting not a question.

As such the answer is largely irrelevant - so while it doesn't have to be outright lie, the answer shouldn't be longer than a single statement and shouldn't make the other person feel like they need to be concerned.

If you want a slightly less beaming answer you could go with "Alright", "same old, same old", "same as always", or "Eh, could be worse", or any of the other suggestions already made.

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

This is an anglo, and specifically American tic, and it's so weird.

It took me a few tries and getting some strange looks to get over it. Especially in the US, where sometimes they twist that knife harder and outright go "how was your day?". If you're going to be that specific I'm going to answer about the previous 24 hour period in detail, man, that's just how language works.

We do have a form of "how's it going" used as a generic greeting, but if we say "how are you" it means we're worried and want to know. Mostly it's just variations on "hello", or "good day", and some times a remark on how long it's been since we've seen each other.

[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 4 points 22 hours ago

It ia very much an English speaking world thing, but I wouldn't say US-centric as we have basically the same greeting in the UK.

Yeah, that wouldn't fly as much here either - if somebody asked how my day was, I'd be inclined to think they want a summary at least.

[–] wide_eyed_stupid@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago

I found out that the best way to make (certain) people stop asking it is to just be entirely honest for a change.

Don't say "I'm fine, thanks. And you?" Launch into a depressing tirade about everything that sucks in your life and the world. Trust me, they'll never ask again.

Heavenly peace.

[–] reksas@sopuli.xyz 4 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Its so annoying question sometimes, "how are you". I dont want to start conversation about it and i dont want other person to worry. Buts its also polite so you cant really do anything about it and alternative would likely just be they dont say anything at all which would be cold. I hate lying or being expected to just go through the motions.

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I say what's up when people ask. People don't know how to respond/react or they laugh.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

"Thanks, you too."

[–] The25003@lemmings.world 4 points 22 hours ago

It is infuriating. I've taken to answering the question more literal. "How" am I? Well, it depends who you ask but the leading scientific consensus is that our known universe began to take shape in what's known as the great expansion. And then...

You gotta make people learn to stop asking you that.

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know what your job is but I just either ignore the question immediately moving on, or give a short honest answer. I work at a servo though and that might not work.

Breathing is the answer that gets the best response for me.

[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Breathing? Just standing there, breathing, without giving an answer? What does breathing mean here?

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 20 hours ago

I say the word breathing.

"How are you today?"

"Breathing"

[–] Mrkawfee@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

"I am enveloped by the cold embrace of the void"

[–] yourFanatic@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago

I hated that question when I worked at jobs where I got yelled at by customers.

[–] forrgott@lemm.ee 4 points 23 hours ago

I stopped saying I'm good. I just kinda shrug. If they ask how it's going, I tell them it hasn't stopped, and that's supposedly a good thing so...eh.

[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Just give a number out of ten.

[–] elgordino@fedia.io -5 points 22 hours ago

I'm far from good and lying about it constantly is killing me

I suggest you consider talking to your doctor or a mental health professional. If you feel a long way from ‘good’ some professional assistance might help improve your way.

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