this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2025
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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 189 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Another one from Saxony.

A man drives his car to the junkyard, looking for replacement parts. He greets the owner and asks:
"Windshield wiper for a Trabant?"
The junkyard owner thinks for a moment, then replies:
"Sure, sounds like a fair exchange."

[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 75 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The Wikipedia page on East German jokes has a few Trabant jokes.

  • What's the best feature of a Trabant? – There's a heater at the back to keep your hands warm when you're pushing it.

  • A new Trabi has been launched with two exhaust pipes – so you can use it as a wheelbarrow.

  • How do you double the value of a Trabant? – Fill it with gas.

  • The back page of the Trabant manual contains the local bus schedule.

  • Four men were seen carrying a Trabant. Somebody asks them why? Was it broken? They reply: "No, nothing wrong with it, we’re just in a hurry."

  • How do you catch a Trabi? – Place a piece of chewing gum on the road.

[–] nogooduser@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The heated rear window one and the doubling its value one were jokes that we used to make about Skodas before they got good.

Also, what do you call a Skoda with a sunroof? A skip.

[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

haha that one's rough! That said, you can put a lot in a junk car.

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[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 173 points 5 days ago (6 children)

In case people are wondering: it's indeed a german joke.

It's a pun. "meet" and "hit" are using the same word in german

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 59 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Come to think of it, that's a thing in Swedish as well - we could make the pun work there as well:

Två jägare träffades. Båda dog.

[–] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 51 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Båda dog! Båda dog! No Treåt

(I know å is pronounced like "eu" like in Blåhaj. Couldn't help myself tho)

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 25 points 5 days ago (4 children)

For it to match Swedish phonetic rules, it would have to be:

Bäd dågg! Bäd dågg! Nåu trit!

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[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 33 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

That joke used to work in English.

By c. 1300, of things, "to come into physical contact with, join by touching or uniting with;" also, of persons, "come together by approaching from the opposite direction; come into collision with, combat."

https://www.etymonline.com/word/meet

It still can mean collision or fight, but the context needs to be very clear. Two armies meeting on the battlefield, for example. Or two hunters met in combat.

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[–] Karjalan@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago (2 children)

That's why translation can be so hard, especially for poems, songs, comedy etc. Double meanings, metaphors, rhymes etc are often lost when translated.

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[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 61 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I gonna explain the the joke in the picture.

The German joke is "Treffen sich zwei Jäger, beide Tot."

THW important word is "treffen". It can mean "meet" and "hit"(with a weapon). depending on the context

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[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 52 points 4 days ago

Two Bulgarians are driving through the countryside when they are pulled over by an officer. "Sorry to bother you", says the officer, "but I'm looking for two child molesters."

The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment, turn to the officer, and with a solemn nod say

"We'll do it."

[–] evidences@lemmy.world 65 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I used to work with a couple Czech dudes. One day my coworkers and I were badgering the one dude to tell us a Czech joke. He was pretty reluctant because he said he could only really think of one joke but wasn't sure it would translate well. When he finally told us the joke he got us with this masterpiece.

Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other and hey look a cactus.

All of us were confused by this, he told us it was much funnier in Czech because balloon and cactus sound similar so it's a pun. So we had him tell us the joke untranslated in Czech and balloon and cactus sound nothing alike.

I'm still not sure if this dude was fucking with us.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 34 points 5 days ago (5 children)

It's a silly joke for little kids of preschool age and it only makes sense if you include the right sound effects. It's supposed to go like this: Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other: - Hey look a cactussssssssssss! - Where isssssssssss it?

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 38 points 5 days ago (1 children)

One that works in English:

A superconductor came to a bar and ordered a beer. The barman said - I'm not giving you a beer! Get the fuck out of my bar! The superconductor left without any resistance.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

An argon atom walks into a bar. The barman says: "We don't serve your kind here. get out". The argon atom doesn't react.

[–] brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A neutron walks into a bar and asks: "How much for a beer?" The barman says: "For you, no charge".

[–] Thelie@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Oh hey the German version of this joke is also one that doesn't translate! "A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says: Sorry, only invited guests." In German, "geladen" means both "invited" and "charged".

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[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 19 points 5 days ago

the fact that you don't know if he's fucking around makes it even funnier lmao

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 91 points 5 days ago (1 children)

In the early 80s, American scientists and engineers produced the smallest precision drill bit ever created. With great pride and fanfare, they sent it to their West German colleagues for study and reproduction.

Just days later, the engineering team received a parcel. In it, a note: "Thank you for letting us test our equipment" and the original drill bit with a hole drilled through its center.

[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 43 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I know a variant ~~ending~~ of this:

I messed up a bit. They were sending the thinnest wire they could build.

Just days later, the engineering team received their ~~drillbit~~ wire with a note attached: „The description got lost on the way. We didn't know what to do with the rod you sent us, so we cut an internal threading into it. Best regards!“

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 77 points 5 days ago (3 children)

To explain the joke, as is tradition in Germany. "To meet" translates to "treffen" in German. Which can also mean "to hit something or somebody".

Once had a multicultural family gathering where we translated the same joke into several languages.

A man knocks at a door. A woman opens and he says: "Hello, my name is Toulouse. I'm here to fuck your daughter." The woman screams: "To what?!?" He answers calmly: "Toulouse."

[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 61 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

„Hallo, mein~~meine~~ Name ist Umberto und ich bin hier um Ihre Tochter zu ficken“

„UM WAS???“

„Umberto.“

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[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

“To meet” translates to “treffen” in German. Which can also mean “to hit something or somebody”.

Join the shooting club, meet new friends.

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 53 points 5 days ago (10 children)

Oh I can do German-style comedy too, but as an American.

A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar. They fight and both die in the hospital. Their families have to each pay $80,000 for medical expenses, then both families sue the bar. The bar closes, the owner divorces, spirals into alcoholism, and commits suicide. Then the funeral director buys a new house.

[–] fushuan@lemm.ee 22 points 5 days ago

You said comedy, not children stories!

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 4 days ago

A dog walks into a bar and says "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

Those ancient Sumerians sure knew how to make some knee-slappers.

[–] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 29 points 5 days ago (2 children)

One translated from Norwegian:

"Once upon a time... But now it's a corridor"

I'll supply the original and an explanation:

"Det var en gang... Men nå er det en korridor"

"Det var en gang" is literally "It was a time/an instance", and it's the main way every fairytale starts in Norwegian. But "gang" could also mean hallway.

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[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 54 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: "If we don't hurry now, we'll get soaked here." The farmer says to the farmhand: "Then go into the house and get my wellies!" The farmhand says: "Why me? Why don't you get your wellies yourself?" The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: "Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?"

The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer's wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: "The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you." The two women look at each other. The farmer's wife is surprised: "No, I don't believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?" "Yes, he would," says the farmhand. "But I can ask again just in case." He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer's wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: "Farmer, both of them?" The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: "Both of course, you idiot!"

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 42 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Translated Hungarian joke:

The Székely and his son go into the forest to cut trees. When cutting a tree, the son says:

"Goodbye, my beloved father."

"Why are you saying a farewell to me?", asks the Székely.

"Because the tree is falling on you."

[–] DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 27 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What's the joke? Are there slow falling trees in Hungary?

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

This reply made me laugh more than that joke ever did.

[–] datendefekt@feddit.org 44 points 5 days ago (2 children)

This is a kids pun joke that got lost in translation. Treffen can mean either to meet or to hit (like with a bullet).

Want a funny German joke? Why don't ants go to church? Because they're insects!

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[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 31 points 5 days ago (6 children)

One of my favorite Filipino jokes:

Why didn't the priest go swimming in the ocean? Because it's salt water.

"Salt water" in Tagalog can be translated as "tubig asin," which sounds like the English "too big a sin." Many Filipino jokes rely on Tagalog and English like that.

Here's another (putting original Tagalog because it's kind of relevant):

May joke ako tungkol sa airport kaso NAIA ako eh hehe.

English:

I have a joke about the airport, but I am NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport) hehe.

NAIA sounds like "nahiya," which means "shy," so it would sort of translate to "... but I was shy."

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 34 points 5 days ago

German humour is no laughing matter!

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 26 points 5 days ago

An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. "We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!"

Next call to the radio show is a newfie: "Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by's be havin' any jobs bildin tha' wall or wha'?"

(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)

[–] inlandempire@jlai.lu 29 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (7 children)

What's yellow, and waiting? Jonathan.

e: i promise it's not racist

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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

That's sadly the funniest German joke I've ever heard, I mean the punchline is there, but the set-up isn't, meaning it's closer to what I recognize as a joke than most Germanic Humor.

Edit: Nope, funnier German jokes are in this comment chain, I'm in a good mood today

[–] Kaput@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Québécois and a French learning Ontarian having a chat. The Ontarians goes - o look a fly, Québécois corrects him- A fly. O - wow you have good eyesight. Wregarde, un mouche- -Non, une mouche

[–] Adm_Drummer@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago

For anyone who doesn't get it: The joke relies on understanding how Latin languages gender words (Un v. Une, Masculine/Feminine form).So it literally doesn't work in English. It's also a common translation error non native speakers have because you only know the "gender" of a word by... Knowing if it's masculine or feminine through experience.

Best way to carry the joke is:

"Oh look, a/un(male) fly."

"No, it's a/une(feminine) fly."

"Wow, you have good eyes/Wow, you can see it's genitals from here?"

Certainly clunky but hilarious if you speak French.

[–] Samsy@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 days ago

Here a joke my english teacher always told us:

What says a Saxon in New York when he wants a Christmas tree? .

A tännchen, please.

The saxon "a tännchen" sounds in english like: attention

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

These two are from Romania, specifically about people from Ardeal (the region encompassing Transylvania) - which means they're aimed at the fact that people from Ardeal are slow (haha, so funny, Southerners...):

  1. John and George were out on the field reaping all day and were heading back to the village. Suddenly, it starts raining fiercely, so they huddle under some walnut trees and decide to spend the night there in case it wouldn't let up.

Later on, while sleeping, George is suddenly woken up by a foul smell. "John," he said softly, "did you fart?"

"No, George, must've been the dog."

"Oh, ok."

A couple of minutes pass, then George suddenly has a realisation: "John, the dog isn't here, though..."

"Oh, don't worry," says John half asleep, "I'm sure it'll turn up eventually."

  1. John, George and Mary were at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. They've been there for half an hour, sitting.

"The bus isn't coming," John says softly.

After a couple of minutes, George replies matter-of-factly: "it'll come, I'm telling you."

A few more minutes pass, then Mary chimes in: "if you two keep arguing, I'm walking home."

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