this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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Warning, this story is really horrific and will be heartbreaking for any fans of his, but Neil Gaiman is a sadistic [not in the BDSM sense] sexual predator with a predilection for very young women.

Paywall bypass: https://archive.is/dfXCj

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[–] stoly@lemmy.world 125 points 1 week ago (4 children)

We have to remember that Bill Cosby was praised for decades because he genuinely made the world a better place while being an utter sack of shit.

[–] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've never heard it articulated quite like this before, but you phrase it well.

Men like this absolutely deserve to be condemned and shunned for what they have done, but that doesn't also erase the good that they did before -- nor does it preclude them from ever doing good again.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 49 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

At the same time, any good they do does not erase or counterbalance the harm. Jimmy Savile, the UK's worst celebrity paedophile who abused hundreds of children, conspicuously did a lot for charities throughout his career. He said that he knew God would look at all the good he had done and it would make up for the bad things. There was a calculus in which he only had to do more good each time he did bad, and it would cancel it out. It's a twisted view. Harm is harm and is not changed by any independent "good" act a person does. But apparent goodness can change its significance in the light of the harm that accompanies it.

Savile's apparent selfless good acts were actually a calculated attempt to win license to do harm, and a psychological coping mechanism to allow him to believe in his own basic goodness before God. Plus the reputation for selfless goodness served as a smokescreen to prevent people seeing clearly what was really going on, and to win the support and protection of powerful people. Seen this way, while the charitable works may have had some helpful effects, these were not genuinely good actions but in large part self-serving and an integral part of the dynamics of this man's abuse.

I think the same applies to men like Cosby and Gaiman: the overt charity or the overt feminism changes its meaning when you see how it serves them psychologically and reputationally, amd how it may be a functional part of the whole abusive operation.

Matt Bernstein in a recent video (it's long) discusses men who act as outspoken self-avowed feminists but then abuse their power to treat women terribly. The feminism may be genuine, but it may also be their smokescreen, or a mix of each, and when a man is very loud about being a feminist you have to look carefully to see which is the case. Some are genuine, but you have to ask. Maybe Gaiman was doing the feminist smokescreen, or maybe he's just so messed up that these two sides of his life - the feminism and the abuse - just didn't really encounter each other.

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[–] Hasherm0n@lemmy.world 98 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When the initial allegations came out I was shocked. A week later I was having breakfast with a good friend of mine and his wife. The wife worked in the comic book industry and we'd talked about Gaiman before. I brought up the allegations and she told me that no one who rubbed elbowed with his circle were shocked. Apparently he already had something of a reputation.

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 82 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This is what gets me every time. Once this goes public everyone starts saying, ah yeah, no wonder, they had a reputation already, I knew they were sketchy and so on. So where the fuck where you (not you Hasherm0n, the people bringing this up) all this time? This could have ended so much earlier if people would speak up and make it more public.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Speaking out against the rich and powerful often does not work out well for the person who does it. They would be fighting a very rich and very successful man with a legion of extremely devoted fans. Women who have been direct victims of powerful men have spoken out about it and been destroyed for it (see Anita Hill).

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[–] Hugin@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There is a big difference between knowing a persons reputation and knowing their actions. Sometimes a person with a bad rep does small things you pick up on that reinforces the feeling. But you still don't actually know enough to accuse them.

It's a big deal accusing a powerful person. They are usually going to deny it and people are going to ask for proof. If all you have is rumors and a feeling it only hurts you.

It took several women coming forward with what happened to them to get the public on their side. Imagine trying to accuse him when all you had was rumors.

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[–] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 74 points 1 week ago (21 children)

Jesus fucking Christ.

I have not read anything from Gaiman, but I can see that lots of People really liked his books and the Person he showed the world.

So I just want to say, I'm really sorry for all of you. Even though Gaiman can rot in Hell, I feel sad for people who just got their favorite Books and stories poisoned.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

This is way worse than the J.K. Rowling turned TERF bit. These are actual crimes committed against women.

I legit really enjoyed many of his works, Good Omens, written with Terry Pratchett, is an all time classic, and I used to be proud of the fact that I actually met the man, as did one of my oldest friends as well as my brother in law.

Now it's all like "What the fuck?"

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[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 59 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I have no evidence, but I believe Orson Scott Card has a thing for little boys. I devoured his books when I was a tween, but began to feel uneasy over time. There was a reoccurring theme of young boys being put in graphic situations that just, I don't know, but I've never been able to shake that feeling. Song Master pushed me over the edge. A 'beautiful young boy' being castrated so he doesn't go through puberty was when I stopped reading. My Spidey sense had never stopped going off about him since then.

Aaaand I just googled. I'm not the only one who picked up on that. Ew

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Card is also a giant piece of shit in other ways, which is unfortunate because he is a good writer and his essays on the methodology of writing are excellent.

https://www.wired.com/2013/10/enders-game/

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[–] perestroika@lemm.ee 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's some sad reading. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion, from the point where the train crashes back to where the company forces an engineer to cut corners on the design.

Legal classification: probably rape, definitely sexual assault.

An enabling factor: wealth (he was in a position to influence other's well-being economically, offer hush money and sign non-disclosure agreements).

“‘I’m a very wealthy man,’” she remembers him saying, “‘and I’m used to getting what I want.’”

An excuse: BDSM. The author of the article is correct to note:

BDSM is a culture with a set of long-standing norms, the most important of which is that all parties must eagerly and clearly consent

As for the search for the origin of his behaviour... I think they're on the right track. Like a former child soldier who carries a war inside them, Gaiman has probably been carrying a lot inside.

In 1965, when Neil was 5 years old, his parents, David and Sheila, left their jobs as a business executive and a pharmacist and bought a house in East Grinstead, a mile away from what was at that time the worldwide headquarters for the Church of Scientology. Its founder, the former science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, lived down the road from them from 1965 until 1967, when he fled the country and began directing the church from international waters, pursued by the CIA, FBI, and a handful of foreign governments and maritime agencies. David and Sheila were among England’s earliest adherents to Scientology.

/.../

Palmer began asking Gaiman to tell her more about his childhood in Scientology. But he seemed unable to string more than a few sentences together. When she encouraged him to continue, he would curl up on the bed into a fetal position and cry. He refused to see a therapist.

Reading this, it seems obvious that Gaiman developed his behaviour due to trauma during childhood and youth - and has been exhibiting behaviour patterns that became normalized for him during time in the cult.

As for people whom he assaulted, it seems that they too carry a pattern - they were vulnerable at the time. Some had already experienced violence on themselves. Which, it seems - often hadn't been resolved, but had become normalized. They were not the kind of people whose "no" is followed by physical self-defense or the full weight of legal options - and Gaiman understood enough to recognize: with them, he could get away with doing things.

She didn’t consider reaching out to her own family. Her parents had divorced when she was 3, and Pavlovich had grown up splitting time between their households. Violence, Pavlovich tells me, “was normalized in the household.”

Well, what can I say about it...

...it is customary that accusations be investigated by cops (who hopefully cannot be bought) and presented as charges to a court of law. The defendant should have a chance to deny or excuse their actions, but if deemed guilty, is required to give up time or resources either as compensation or punishment. A court could make lesser or greater punishment dependent on taking action to fix one's behaviour traits - seeking assistance and not offending again. Those harmed should be offered assistance by their societies.

[–] cleanandsunny 50 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

I didn’t heed the warning and regretted reading the whole thing - there are very detailed and gruesome first hand accounts of his alleged assaults on multiple women. Excellent reporting throughout, which only makes it more sickening.

Also, as a former Amanda Palmer fan, fuck her, too. It’s clear she enabled this and committed, at minimum, wage theft crimes. Both of them deserve to do jail time with even the most generous best-case-scenarios. I’m sure she was also abused by him, but that is not an excuse to abuse other women. Some feminist.

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[–] Eldritch@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (3 children)

No one should ever be put on a pedestal. We all have our demons. Though many of them are semi innocent or only hurt ourselves. It still sad to hear another celebrity abused their celebrity.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know about you but none of my demons involve sexual assault.

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[–] EpicMuch@sh.itjust.works 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (14 children)

I have so many of this man's books on my shelves, a few of them signed. I don't know what to do with them. I don't want to throw them away (yet), because the stories are wonderful and I'm still attached to those characters and worlds. but. I don't to see his name anymore. on anything. I've turned them backwards, spine inward and placed others in the gap between other books and the back of the shelf. what a tragic loss caused by a Jekyll\Hyde monster.

Good Omens is one of my most favorite and re-read books and I don't know how many decades it'll take before I touch it again.

[–] prodigalsorcerer@lemmy.ca 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It can be hard to separate art from artist, but just keep in mind that you've already paid for those books. He isn't getting more money from you just rereading them, and nothing changes if you continue to enjoy the books.

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[–] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 39 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The stories live on their own. They left his mind and are no longer his. They live in your mind now and are yours now.

If it makes you feel better about them being there, tear out or paint over his name on them. And continue enjoying stories that are good.

I believe in death of the author. People throughout history were all sorts of awful, but that doesn't mean they didn't have some good thoughts too. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

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[–] slurp@programming.dev 38 points 1 week ago (3 children)

At least with Good Omens you can focus on Terry. This is grim.

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[–] theacharnian@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 week ago (35 children)

Yup, big fan of his work, really pissed off to find out he's such an asshole. But I'm glad we live in an era where creeps can get their due. Fuck this guy.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Welp, that's yet another maker of incredible art that turned out to be an absolute monster. Fucking hell.

If what he says about The Ocean at the End of the Lane about the kid representing him is true, then he's just another case of keeping a vicious cycle of abuse going. He should've sought psychological help. Hell, he should seek psychological help now, the media would love to write about his RL redemption.

Serving for his rape crimes would also be nice.

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[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago

Sounds like someone who suffered from serious abuse, never went to actual therapy in a meaningful way but instead got into a position of power where he could feel good by being the abuser instead of the abused. Which does not excuse any of it. On the contrary, his writing shows very clearly that he understands that what he did was wrong, but he did it regardless.

[–] vivavideri@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

God, barf.

I was one of those sad goth kids clinging to the dresden dolls through my turbulent adolescence. After palmer met this nutsack her whole vibe changed. I mourned the loss of an era and ultimately left it all behind. I can't even begin to fathom what kind of.. Mind-shattering nightmare that would be, someone you connected with on that level, being the intersection in your life between "the before times" and one of the most traumatic things that can happen to someone. Fuck.

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