this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 hours ago

Devilish: in order to brighten a child's life, deliberately steal resources from your corporate masters, torturing their knighted/blessed control and absolute authority over all of society.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 13 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Chaotic evil: only put it in one kids bag when there’s an order for two kids and watch them fight over it.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

True Chaotic Evil:

2 extra nuggets for one kid, 1 short for the other.

Let the games begin.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

That’s easier to rectify. The parent will just take one and give it to the other so there’s an equal amount. But with an odd number you either have to go Solomon or pick a kid, or eat it yourself and draw both their ire.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

That's the kind of sacrifice I will take upon myself if it can teach my kids a lesson.

Better yet, give them the option on how to deal with it, and if they can't reach a deal in some time frame, eat it yourself. Throwing it in the trash makes them both feel like nobody wins, but me eating it means I win and they both lose.

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago

Fuck the milgram experiment i wanna watch this!

[–] brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 36 points 9 hours ago
[–] puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 106 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

i did that all the time at my first job (Wendy's), until I learned that a single extra nugget actually really really hurts how much money the managers come home with. a devastating amount, truly.

well, they acted like it. 🙄

[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 79 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Then you started adding two nuggets, right?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

That sounds like something a velociraptor would say. Sus.

As an aside, my Gboard absolutely 100% did not want me to type "velociraptor." Is Google promoting revisionist prehistory?

[–] SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you for noticing, velociraptors were my favourite dinosaurs from kid's encyclopedia and I couldn't remember how they're called.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Happy to be of service!

[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

A velociraptor would never eat or promote eating chicken, that would be like promoting, idk, eating your own cousin (the one you don't see since that last Thanksgiving, some years ago, when your uncle (their father) started talking about how dinosaurs don't exist because earth is 2000 years old, got kicked from your house and decided to cut ties).

Edit: don't use gboard, use thumb-key. Best keyboard ever (once you learn it) and easy to use single handed ~~with even less than 5 fingers~~

Please disregard that last part of the sentence, I'm not suggesting anything like having less than the usual 5 fingers a human hand has.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

I know (or at least have heard from Jurassic Park) that velociraptors were smart, but I'm not sure they'd understand evolutionary theory. Though perhaps this post disproves my theory ...

I'll look into your recommended keyboard, having the standard number of human fingers, thank you.

[–] pencil_nerd@mander.xyz 50 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

You don't have to encourage me, I'm already doing it

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 8 hours ago

You don't have to encourage me

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 30 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I put free credits in the machines at the arcade where I work because I like to see the little kids get excited when they find a machine is already loaded.

[–] problembasedperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

First one free, make 'em come back for more.

I took my kids to a nickel arcade, and it turns out that many of the games there only exist to dispense "tickets" that they can convert to rewards at the counter. Everything is digital now, so it's not nearly as satisfying as it was when I was a kid. My kids blew through their allotment and when they compared their tickets to things they wanted, they added some of their own money to get up to a specific ticket amount to get the thing they wanted.

At that point it's basically gambling, because the conversion of nickels to tickets is largely chance-based. So loading a game w/ free tokens that dispenses tickets may lead to gambling issues if the kid would otherwise play non-ticket games.

It's a bit of a stretch, and I still think OP is a pretty decent human.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Never thought of it that way. I did once put $50 worth of tokens into a Jurassic Park machine that no one ever plays. Just to watch it get some love for a few hours.

Not actual money. I just went into the management screen and added the credits.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

I've said it two times (in different ways) in this comment section, but that's a fitting username for this comment.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 48 points 15 hours ago

Sometimes people tell me "never mind" but it is too late. I have already minded.

[–] pencil_nerd@mander.xyz 20 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I used to feel SO FUCKING LUCKY to get that extra mcnugget though

[–] N0MAD@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

I feel equally as angry if they shorted me one.

[–] bobotron@sh.itjust.works 21 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Delightfully devilish anon

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 2 points 4 hours ago

Ho ho ho ho ho

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 13 hours ago

that stuff used to make my day, also its good for the place too because I would go there again, thinking it was more common in this shop, maybe.