I don’t think the person on the left’s a transphobe, but I also don’t think they understand the scale of the harassment trans people face on a daily basis. Like it’s so bad the users would rather just have potential trolls ignored and downvoted than to see well meaning cis people come in and do vigilante justice using the same tactics of abuse trans people go through every day.

That empathetic disconnect looks like transphobia to some users. I don’t know that the users are right, but I understand how you reached that conclusion, especially with the person on the left’s days-long soapbox crashout about how despotic Ada is.

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[–] LMagicalus@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Look, I'll respect drag's pronouns, but I definitely don't respect drag. 5 minutes looking through drag's modlog was more than enough. Here are some highlights:

Banned from the Trans community on Blahaj for misgendering and another thing we'll get to shortly (You might notice a recent unban, that's for Transgender, the OTHER trans sub drag was banned from)
Banned from this sub and others for trolling
Banned from a concerning number of subs for encouraging suicide.
I really want to emphasize that one. Drag has been banned from many communities for ENCOURAGING SUICIDE
Banned from a number of subs for harassing mods and not being civil

And thats all before we get to the bottom of the first page, which only goes two months back. Once again, drag deserves to have their pronouns respected, but that doesnt mean they deserve any other kind.

[–] Draconic_NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Dragonfucker also harassed me on an alt account, made many bad faith accusations towards me, told me to kill myself, even threatened to kill me. Every single comment pinged every one of my accounts. The last one was really scary because they asked Lemmy admins to help track me down so I could be tortured.

I've copied this elsewhere but I also think it's a good idea to share it here as well, see the spoiler below for screenshots of the abusive interactions from this alt (I censored the porn):

CW: Abusive content, threats, suicide encouragement, harassment

A lot of contextual information for these isn't here, to get it the admins of pawb.social and discuss.online would need to be contacted as the content and user accounts associated have been banned.

Edit: I'm so sure this was dragonfucker, I'd bet money on it. The circumstances were way too suspicious.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 13 points 3 days ago

thank you. it’s utterly obscene how people will see awful actions like drag’s, and instead of combating the actions drag has done, just fight for their right to misgender and abuse.

i encourage everyone who sees these behaviors, from anyone, to bring them forward to mods immediately.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Here's the suicide comment for anyone curious, on a post where a user was in a mental health crisis and contemplating suicide.

Removed Comment If you're planning on [censored] yourself, go buy a [censored] and take a red hat with you. Drag is serious. Get out if you can. Move to another country. But if you're actually hopeless, and there's nothing anyone can say to dissuade you... Then make it count. by Dragon Rider (drag) @lemmy.nz reason: Advocating violence, encouraging suicide

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

actually disturbing, i didn’t know the context was this dire too :(

consider putting this in a content warning spoiler? i don’t want you getting whacked for reposting harmful content 🫶

::: spoiler CW: banned comment encouraging suicide

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Good idea. Couldn't figure out the formatting on mobile but I censored the disturbing parts. I'm sure mods will remove the comment if they deem it unfitting for the community.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Here's an example if it helps,

Title here

Content here

[–] TheCoolerMia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

comment for someone's comment that I remember but don't remember where I saw it and I dont care enough to find it and I assume it was removed anyway:

"trans women are women. dragons arent real."

okie Im a neutron star then, those r real :3

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 54 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

I honestly don't understand the whole problem from anyone. I hit the block button after 1 post, and I'm just shaking my head every time. I did the same for the person who insists on having their pronouns capitalized or something (and I'm reasonably sure it's the same person, but eh, block and move on).

It costs you nothing, it takes basically no time at all, and it makes your life and everyone else's experience better. Like blocking .ml

[–] Idreamofcheesy@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago

I annoyed myself for ten minutes reading their posts, realized they were a teenager looking for attention, and blocked.

Boom, no problems.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 days ago

I didn't block anyone, yet the discussion has been the most annoying thing for me. Can we just move on?

[–] Deme@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I may be out of the loop:

What's up with .ml?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lemmy.ml is the marxist-lenninist instance. It's VERY marxist-lenninist

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

oh so thats what the .ml means

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean technically .ml means the country of Mali, and they've been pushing to take their TLD back for a little bit now.

[–] Baguette@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago

Which is partially because of the surge in ai. All these startup companies wants to be associated with .ml (machine learning) and drives up the demand for these domains. If Mali gets it back, it could net a good amount of money.

[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago

There are a lot of people on it with very strong opinions that fall well outside the norm. From my experience, most of what goes on there is pretty innocuous, occasionally I’ll see something on the all page from there that makes me raise an eyebrow in disbelief, but like, not often enough to be a serious bother for me TBH.

[–] cccc0@sh.itjust.works 44 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The more people passionately post about drama on a meme page, the less I care about it.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 7 points 4 days ago

this is a symptom of you caring more about the memes than the community, and that’s fine. :) its good to be aware of your opinions on things /gen

[–] Sasha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Leaving the instance or blocking someone isn't transphobic, but not respecting their pronouns is. It's that simple.

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[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

I didn't realize this was still an ongoing thing. I thought the dragonfucker had been banned after the last sealioning episode.

[–] Deestan@lemmy.world 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It is nice to see a meme poking fun of and criticizing the "leavers" without twisting and misrepresenting their views.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 11 points 4 days ago

glad to hear you felt this was fair. i had a long conversation with one and so did my best to be as charitable as possible with what i learned.

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"I'm leaving."

doesn't leave

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

homies this is blahaj, not an airport terminal. no need to announce your departure 😆

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[–] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

hi spujb

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)

hi 😳

[–] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

helo im kate

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

nice to meet you, kate

[–] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 2 points 3 days ago

henlo what are ur pronouns happy new year

[–] yuri@pawb.social 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

my ass had to take a day off the internet, shit was tiring.

you’re one of the real ones, spujb

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I can block a few people but I cant get my community back after it was killed :c

(Also my worry is that trolls will eventually kill this instance)

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[–] RedSeries@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

DISCLAIMER: Any "you" used in this comment is the royal "you", not directed at OP but more at those with attitudes like the person being referenced in the meme.

The drama post I saw around this was full of people being upset that their words both caused harm and had consequences. And I personally feel they were being transphobic. Misgendering and disrespecting another person's identity is where my line of transphobia is. If you think (for example) calling Elon something like "Elonia" is a valid take, I know how seriously you'll take my identity when we butt heads

Like OF COURSE you can leave, why should any of us care? OF COURSE you can disrespect someone's identity, just deal with not being allowed in inclusive spaces. OF COURSE you can post that drama like you're the victim, just don't expect to change the minds of those who deal with your shit every day. OF COURSE you're not "transphobic", you're just a cunt. You'd only ever call yourself a transphobe if it were trendy. You have trans people in your life, so you could NEVER be transphobic. 🙄

[–] mke@programming.dev 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Sorry for responding to your serious comment with such a dumb thing, but shouldn't it be queerphobic or something else? I thought transphobia pertained to cases involving trans folk.

Could ask a search engine, but sometimes communities like this have a more nuanced answer.

[–] AlexanderTheDead@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I'd say anybody who is gender-nonconforming, non-binary, etc, is trans.

They may not always suffer from the same level of transphobia as MtFs or FtMs, but they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans, imo.

[–] mke@programming.dev 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That's surprising. But this feels like a nice way to frame it, if so:

... they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans ...

The other commenter mentioned this might be casting too wide a net, and I lean towards the "abolish gender" team, myself, so I'd be curious to hear what others think about it, especially MtF, FtM and similar(?) people.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

I'm FtM and have the same mindset of the above poster regarding the definition of "trans" but if a non binary person asks me to not refer to them as trans, then I'll certainly respect that.

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