this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 133 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

I learned this lesson in high school. You need two way communication with your friends. "Are you coming over tonight?" You can't just blast out an invite and then act like you don't care if people are noncommittal. People have chats about your party without you, and they will all know if nobody is going to be there. It's good to have a friend who will let you know, "Hey, everybody decided to go bowling instead."

Invite fucking everyone, too. Don't try to keep the guest list under control. The herd will naturally thin itself. Of course there's planning and effort that goes into a party, but it's better to just always be prepared for an impromptu gathering of friends. Those are far more fun. Keep the solo cups in a cupboard and bust them out when you have enough people to make beer pong fun.

If everyone bails, put the beer and snacks in the fridge and go to a bar. Keep everything on hand for another night. Don't wallow in the empty room where all your friends would be if you had them. Go do something social and meet new friends.

If your friends say they are coming and then bail, they aren't your friends. Invite different people to the next one.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I’ve literally never had anyone bail on a party. If they are they just aren’t your friends (if they’re doing it consistently, things do happen of course).

I don’t agree with the invite everyone thing, but my brother-in-law does that and it seems to work for him. My wife and I hate it though because he always invites the worst people just because he’s trying to make sure people actually show up. So we get terrible ex girlfriends at things like a family camping weekend.

[–] Reyali@lemm.ee 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Requesting one small caveat to your thinking: your friends with chronic health issues (physical and/or mental) may bail more often than others but still love you.

My partner has lost friends over them thinking he uses his migraines as an excuse to not show up to things. They feel hurt because he bailed one too many times for them, and he feels hurt because they diminished his disability and didn’t believe him. It’s hard to see the additional toll it takes on him.

(I also have my own chronic issues but thankfully have been able to suck it up often enough to not have it come in the way of friendships. Sometimes he and I are intentional about making sure at least one of us attends something even if we both feel like shit in order to not alienate people we care about.)

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 6 days ago

Yeah, as someone who is known for bailing on things for mental health reasons, it doesn't mean they don't care about you...

[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

This guy parties

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 10 points 6 days ago

Good advice, it helps to journal about your day/night and try to make life lessons too

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 36 points 6 days ago

"I didn't have a party but I found out who my friends were."

life gave him lemons!

[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 27 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I don't see the problem, honestly: dude just got more beer/whisky/(gin || vodka) to himself, not even counting the snacks. One less party, one more month of cozy evenings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago (2 children)

More whisky to drown the crushing loneliness.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 6 days ago

Gotta keep that existential dread at bay.

[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 5 points 6 days ago

Or make a nice 5-12% cocktail to chill out while watching a movie or something

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Vodka. I believe the New Amsterdam gin has a black label and the vodka has that blue one.

one more month of cozy evenings

A 1.75 of vodka, a fifth of whiskey, and seven beers? That wouldn't last a week for me but good on you, fam!

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 4 points 5 days ago

I’ll never drink New Amsterdam gin again. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff but I learned quick it’s the only alcohol that’s had me doing shady stuff like stealing someone’s bike, breaking into a car or pushing my friends around in a shopping cart in the streets at 3 AM.

I’ve drank to excess plenty of times in my younger days but never was I doing stuff like that. Something about that alcohol in particular is wild.

[–] PraiseTheSoup@lemm.ee 7 points 6 days ago

Imagine bragging about how much you drink to some randos on the internet.

[–] Zementid@feddit.nl 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

My friend, sorry I think you should talk to someone real. Get help! That shit destroys...

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[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yeah, my usual consumption is 2×.5 of cider per evening, so 3.5 days on beer + ~5 days on whisky + ~17.5 days on vodka ≈ 26 days, but realistically more, since I don't drink every day.

[–] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

And this is why i will never host a social function again.

That is the result of my every effort

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

Send the addy I’m otw

[–] ngn@lemmy.ml 17 points 6 days ago

ill come tell me the address

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