this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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me irl

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It is required that all that you post is you irl All posts must be titled "meirl", "me irl", or "me_irl". One or two Emojis between "me" and "irl" is ok

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[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 13 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Old ladies at my first job would tell this to Male interns all the time.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 80 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (3 children)

I've endured the male equivalent of this my whole life.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"You look angry."

"This is just my face!"

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 11 points 13 hours ago

Ahhh my gf keeps asking me if I'm fine. I guess I just have a resting sad face or something.

[–] plzExplainNdetail@slrpnk.net 15 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

That's not really a male thing, nor is your example an equivalent. All sexes can get the angry face comment because people misinterpret others expressions wrong all the time. Not everyone is lucky enough to have resting beauty face. Heck just yesterday I was literally told by a nationally renowned dentist that my "small polite smile" would in fact labelled a grimace.. oof.

There is usually a sexual connotation in being told to smile (to look prettier to the viewers), while being asked if something is wrong generally doesn't have the same sexual undertones/motivations. The equivalent to the post would literally be a woman getting catcalled/told to smile and them thinking about escape routes. The difference in the gender swap is when the guy hears the smile comment they move on thinking about smiling (as shown by your comment), while the lady hears the smile comment and wonders if she's in an unsafe situation that could possibly end their life.

Don't get me wrong, both situations are awkward and uncomfortable to be in/navigate. Both put the onus the person hearing it to engage their defenses as to dispell/appease the accusations. And while both deal with fear, it really is just the power dynamics and inherent sexual nature that makes for entirely different interactions/outcomes.

(I say woman/man but the scenario still stands when women= any person smaller or weaker and man= any person with an inherent power/advantage over another. So if a big guy did the same to a weaker guy, the scene plays out the same as a powerful lady and the frail lady, or a strong lady and smaller guy.)

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 10 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Here we go, someone mentions how an issue affects men and it's instantly shut down with "well women have it worse".

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[–] Nythos@sh.itjust.works 6 points 17 hours ago

I get it at least once a week when at work.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

No it's just as infuriating and it's always been one of the complaints women bring up that I always remind them is not just a women problem.

Rbf can seriously negatively impact your life. Especially if you're already physically imposing.

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

?? I think I misunderstood your comment, did you said that its not cool to be cat called as a man?

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 7 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I'm specifically referring to the phrase "you should smile more" not cat calling in general.

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago

Oh I get it thx for the response

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[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

It's about it happening to you once every 10 years or once an hour.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Getting complimented once every ten years sounds awesome. It’s hard to even imagine once an hour

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev -1 points 6 hours ago

This isn't a compliment.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 71 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

Once an hour sounds awesome but I suppose a person dying of thirst would think that a person drowning was having a great time.

I have never had a woman hit on me, but a gay man did once and the memory of that warms my heart. (I'm not gay.)

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 3 points 13 hours ago

person dying of thirst would think that a person drowning was having a great time.

This happens in Dune. Paul explains the concept of swimming to his gf and she says he's making stuff up.

[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 14 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

But does your now husband know?

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 20 hours ago

This post is discussing flirts per hour

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

If this happened once instead of constantly

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 14 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

You talk about women right ? Because as a man I would love that it would happen all the time to me

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works -2 points 15 hours ago (7 children)

you're assuming that because you don't have to live with the reality.

add in the constant awareness that most rapists occur by men against women and most men are stronger than women.

you wouldn't like theae solicitations or straight up molestation and assaults if you were constantly in danger of being raped and being reminded that men found you attractive or available.

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 22 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

What are you talking about, I said that I as a man would love to be cat called not that I would love that as a woman . I never receive compliment and I can assure you that I would love to be cat called.I don't say that what you said is false (it s not), just that its not what I was talking about.

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[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (3 children)
[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 9 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (2 children)

constantly, really:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rvq9krecA8g

and men don't start cat calling women after they reach what is thought of as an "appropriate" age to harass someone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4DCYYs4ECE

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 17 hours ago

The single most important benefit of getting to be an old woman is I don't have to deal with this shit anymore.

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 0 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Do you have any actual studies on this rather than YouTube videos? You know, the ones that show you raw unobscured data? Because I can take a camera to the main plaza, ask 100 women if they ever had insert experience till 3 out of a 100 say yes, interview them, cut it together, and make it seem like its happening to every single one of them. Data obscuration is the easiest way to manipulate outcomes of studies.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

yep, this case study records about 10 cat calls per hour:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9900418/

also, what do you have against video evidence?

they studied the YouTube comments, most of which dismissed or defended the harassment, as you are doing.

there are many studies and videos about common, everyday open harassment and assault against women.

you should try talking to some of the women in your life.

ask them what it's like for men to make solicitations end comments about their appearance in public and how often it happens.

then ask how old they were when they first harassed or molested.

your assumptions and implications from your comment show that you have no experience here; these talks will be enlightening for you.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works -5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I’ve seen you comment around here before and you have a tendency to make bad faith arguments and it seems like maybe lie about who you are to try and make a point and snap at people who question your history while making similar assumptions yourself. If you offered something critically substantial then I’d understand but you often don’t try and simply seem to be a doubter and critic without any real argument. So I’m curious who you are and what you get out of this. If I’m completely off the mark then forgive me but that’s how it looks through the shallow lens of internet commentary

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[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 0 points 13 hours ago

They dix not talk about the dame thing than you , they dont talk about the dame situation than the même. That s why its confusing

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