Even the big guy needs middle-management sometimes.
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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Nope. Lots of stuff commonly believed by Christians isn't from the Bible. (Though sometimes they'll do a lot of mental gymnastics to assert that what they believe is from "the only reasonable interpretation" of the Bible.)
Just a few other things commonly believed by Christians not (or at least only dubiously) from the Bible:
- The seven deadly sins
- The nine circles of hell
- The seven levels of heaven
- Transubstantiation
- The trinity
Fire and Brimstone Hell is also commonly believed, but not actually in the bible, if I recall right.
Most of the punishment around Hell in the Bible is less about Hell itself, and more about not being able to enter Heaven and join God, and all of that, as oppose to Hell itself being punishment.
my favourite misbelief is that people are already in heaven, and that hell is a 'place'.
What the bible claims will happen: second coming of Jesus happens; believers are resurrected, believers are raptured, and then war breaks out. Jesus fucks off with the angels and everyone left on Earth is "in hell" (permanently separated from God).
Everything about hell being a demonic underworld is from Dante's Divine Comedy.
Oh so we are all already in hell. Got it.
I already suspected as much.
If you're an atheist: we're in hell, literally.
If you're a Christian: we're where hell will be, when Jesus comes back with cigarettes and half a bottle of bourbon.
I love transubstantiation. It's basically mandatory to believe it to be a catholic. A lot don't understand it though. But if you find one that does, ask them to explain why it's not cannibalism.
Well, you see, Jesus is all god, but also all man. And we literally eat his flesh.
But it isn't cannibalism because ... look it just isn't, OK?
What a weird fucking question!
Because shut up, that's why.
Try this - We're humans, but Jesus is an aasimar. Depending on what rule set he's on, he's probably something like a divine soul sorcerer, too.
There's a surprising amount of modern Christian lore that actually comes from The Divine Comedy, the granddaddy of all ascended fanfic.
Don't forget Paradise Lost, also a great hit
Transubstantiation is kind of in the Bible. Matthew 26:26-28
While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”
Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the[a] covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.
The discussion of transubstantiation is just how literal "my body/blood" is.
Transubstantiation is the doctrine that it ceases being bread and wine. Which St Paul kind of debunks in his first letter to the Corinthians at Chapter 11, where he refers to it as bread.
"For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes."
What you're talking about is consubstantiation, which is where the body and blood physically coexist in the bread and wine, which can be derived from the Bible.
Is it possible Paul is referring to the accidents, not the substance?
The seven heavens is an extension of the seven named heavens of Judaism. Islam also has seven named heavens.
There is a reference to a third heaven in the Bible and a reference of ten heavens in a book that was not included by the Council of Nicaea.
That humans eventually become angels.
Though, there was one human who did, in an apocryphal book. And then was elevated yet again to being a second diety; there were apparently strains of Christianity which were DUOtheistic! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enoch
Want a rabbit hole of apocryphal knowledge, start digging into gnosticism. It's like more internally consistent Christianity. Also depending on which flavor and particular interpretation, you could arrive at such truths as: Satan runs the church. God(old testament) is an asshole and a fool. Jesus (specifically the divine aspect Christ) is on a rescue mission to save God's mom, Sophia, from the prison world that is earth, that God made specifically to trap her. Judas is a tragic hero who has to kill his friend, Jesus, so that Christ can escape the prison world.
It's wild, it's a more interesting story than Christianity, and I can ABSOLUTELY see why most of these books were branded heresy.
Matthew 20:30
"At resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven."
I think that's where the sentiment comes from. It's explicit in Mormonism (I think). In mainstream Christianity the saved don't become angels, they become like angels.
... they become like angels.
In the sense that they no longer have sexual or romantic urges, would be my reading of that passage. Angels have no belly buttons!
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This is much more of a list of stuff commonly believed by Catholics, not so much by Christianity as a whole.
Purgatory aswell
https://www.britannica.com/topic/purgatory-Roman-Catholicism
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I've never heard about Peter judging or the gates etc. in all my religious upbringing and didn't realize this was an actual belief.
I just knew this pearly gates thing as a movie cliché, from Tom and Jerry to modern shows copying that idea.
So, Peter at the gates comes from a more or less literal interpretation from the passage where Jesus was making Peter the first pope. “To you I hand the keys to the kingdom of heaven….”
What Jesus was saying is that Peter got to decide who was in the Blood Ritual Cannibal Club,
Keep in mind, the books were written well after Jesus died, and the scriptures weren’t canonized until 300 years later; at the council of Nicaea- which was called specifically to “unify” the church. A lot of the choices about what was canon or not was specifically made to protect the bulk of the bishop’s authority (by drawing a straight lineage of succession from Peter.)
Ah. The Holy Bible. Literal word of God (Edited and abridged by man.)
Because even their perfect God can't write a perfect book.
Honestly, the whole thing becomes a LOT more intriguing when you start adding back in the non-canon books. And I can totally see why the church deemed them heretical in a lot of cases, they pretty well fly in the face of a powerful centralized church, and if you're in power, seeking to maintain it, it only makes sense to destroy them.
Like what?
I heard that in the bible their are other gods.
Back in the day when you were in Norway you worship the Norse gods. If that guy got on a boat and went to Greece he would worship the gods there, not the ones from home.
"You shall have no other gods before me"
What does that mean? Gods don't exist or they do but Yahweh is the most important? The second seems more likely to me.
Jesus was a rebel. He hated the state. Assuming he was a real person, he was a bastion of hope against an authoritative rule.
Considering literacy rates among the lower classes ~2000 years ago, it's not really surprising there was a lot of oral tradition until he was co-opted to control the people. And oral traditions usually lead to exaggerated elements, such as miracles.
Think about what we'd be saying about George Washington or any of the other founding fathers, if reading and writing weren't commonplace, and most of what we knew of him was oral tradition. Hell, even despite the writings, we still have a heavily romanticized view of them.
St Peter doesn't judge you! He's always depicted with a book that already contains the judgements. He has no real authority, he's just the gatekeeper.
I wonder if enough technicians go to heaven could the pearly gates can be automated so St Peter can finally retire.
THE FACTORY MUST GROW
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Even "the bible" isn't "the bible".
"Protestant Bibles have only 39 books in the Old Testament, however, while Catholic Bibles have 46." source
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