this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 25 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Screw debates, I want to see who makes the best ASMR video

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 20 hours ago

Vance couch fucking. Mics in the cushions.

Are you sure you want this?

[–] seahorse@midwest.social 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Trump can rub two hamburgers together.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 16 hours ago

just him gently chanting "bing bing bong" on repeat

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Those keep you awake all night

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 29 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

White noise is made of samples with uniformly random values. If you generate enough of it with true randomness, it will include an audio recording of the past 24 hours in Kamala Harris's life. (Of course, you're as likely to stumble upon it as on any other possible 24-hour audio.)

[–] switchboard_pete@fedia.io 22 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

"I'm Kamala Harris, and I approve this blessage"?! You stupid monkey!

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I like that you perfectly transcribed her encrypted call with Biden but why is it interspersed with "snarky commentary by Ben Shapiro"?

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Scary to think the election might come down to wich candidate has the better jre showing.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 24 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I wanna see them both on hot ones

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Trump will melt by the 4th bottle

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 2 points 12 hours ago

Oops! All Da Bomb

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 18 hours ago

I can't see him getting past the 2nd. But will it be better or worse than dj kahlids?

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 20 hours ago

Translation for our East Asian friends:

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Retrograde@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Was it tasty at least?