this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
412 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 267 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe anon has more luck flirting outside of his household?

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That, or try breaking his arms.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yup, more than one way to skin a cat. (BTW, I heard this term as a construction term, as in operating a Caterpillar machine).

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Furiously peels the vinyl off the tractor seat.

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

slowly peels vinyl off the tractor seat Yup. More than one way.

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

I don’t think anon’s mom loves him that much. Anon is anon, after all.

[–] lulztard@lemmy.world 116 points 1 month ago

This could also be a great textbook example of social conditioning. Women and men self-perpetuating gender stereotypes and acting weirded out when they're being violated.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 87 points 1 month ago (4 children)

$100 bucks says Anon is ugly and/or overweight.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 63 points 1 month ago

Only if the person that made up the fictional character writes it that way.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 49 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Or just gives off massive fake and gay energy

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

$100 says the green text is an artistic work of falsehood

[–] don@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

tf? green text is always true, anon never makes shit up.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

100¢ says anon is a bad flirt.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Naw, that still assumes anon is a real person, telling a real story.

As a rule, anything posted to /b/ is an artistic work of fiction or falshood, and only a fool would believe otherwise

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't that exact quote posted on the top of every page on /b/? Wouldn't that make that rule itself an artistic work of fiction?

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Almost exactly, yeah

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

"All those women feeding him"

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago

Well, it's probably because he's the leper king of Jerusalem, judging by that mask

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If your mom is nice to you she simply protects her assets. Her behaviour towards you is in no way an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners from outside your family.

Her behaviour towards you however may be an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners inside your family.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

[–] Mandy@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Idk if this is solace for someone or not but as a lesbian I never had it any easier than this hypothetical chap

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

I gave up and found a boyfriend. I'm not even kidding. I'm like...90% lesbian though.

[–] Mandy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's called being bi my fellow gril

As for myself, I found a long distance lesbo partner by being an uber mega nerd about am old free visual novel

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't this situation how the term incel was coined? Like, it was a lesbian who could not get a girlfriend, and eventually started saying she was involuntarily celibate, which got shortened to incel?

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fair, but I really don't consider myself bi. I like women and I like my boyfriend haha.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's funny - the bi women I know have a much better understanding of how difficult it is to date women than the straight women do. "But why don't you just do online dating? I had a lot of success meeting men through online dating!"

(Before anyone says anything: yeah, straight women have their own problems.)

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[–] TORFdot0@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago
[–] lol_idk@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Problem: Anon keeps trying to date his mom

Solution: Anon needs to try using a dating service or app

Or his sisters. Anon has options.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Being raised by women doesn’t make you a pussy magnet anon.

[–] comrade19@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Time for reform

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

What no male role models does to a mf.

[–] SitD@lemy.lol 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm kind of surprised what gets downvoted these days.. do people actually not know that humans are imitation learners in almost every social and scientific aspect? 😨

[–] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

In the same vein I'm shocked how little reading comprehension people have these days (such as this comment) and how people and how quickly people jump to align any information with their worldview. The post even said "majority" with no indication that the father wasn't around. For example someone that has two siblings, both sisters would fit that category.

[–] orcrist@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

I think you misinterpreted some or most of the downvotes. The problem seems to be the role model that they did find.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

op had no male role models because the entire scenario is completely made up for attention on the internet

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