this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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cats

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[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 102 points 2 months ago

I've been acquired by two different cats in variations of this scam.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 88 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is a well known phenomenon. The cat distribution system.

Happened to my partner twice in the last ~10 years or so. The first was Zora, a black/white lady who was very chill and liked to stare at people (usually me, but yeah). Very friendly and outgoing. She was distributed to my partner at a bus stop. Anytime someone visited while we had her, she would go and greet them, since we're pretty sure that she was convinced that people only ever came to visit her to give her pets.

She played fetch, ate fries and Cheetos.... She's a great girl. She passed away a few years back and I still miss the little shithead.

Then we were distributed shadow. His nickname is manager, because he tells everyone what to do, and occasionally where to go. He's got sass when he needs it and he's our fluffy little man. When he was distributed to us, he basically showed up at our door and when we opened it, he came in and made himself at home. He's a very distinguished gentleman, and demands the freshest food, tastiest treats, and only the prescribed 82.475 pets in any one petting season. If you slow down or stop at any point before this quota has been satisfied, he will glare at you like he's about to end your life if you don't resume.

He's got a little white spot on his chest that looks like a bowtie, so he's always ready for a fancy party. He doesn't like guests though, and when anyone new shows up, he will depart quickly and won't be seen for at least 4 hours after the guest leaves.

His hobbies include windows (mostly looking through them) and trying to eat any food I may have.

[–] RinseDrizzle@midwest.social 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lovely read, lovely critters.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 months ago

I had to pay the cat tax. I couldn't tell the story and not include something.

The cat distribution system has been good to us.

[–] i_love_FFT@lemmy.ml 76 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes!

This one said to me "You can't get away while I'm under the gas pedal." It was a (confirmed) stray barn cat. The most lovely and patient cat i ever knew.

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 65 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Or how you accidentally steal someone's cat...

[–] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 69 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This cat is escaping.

"DRIVE MOTHERFUCKER!!"

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago

"It's TORTURE in that house, they give me JUST 3 MEALS AND 2 SNACKS A DAY!"

[–] FinishingDutch@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I don’t have a cat. I’m always amazed at people who just let theirs roam free about the neighbourhood. I feel like that’s a good way to let your cat get hurt, abducted or worse.

Just yesterday evening, I was coming back from work on my bike. And there’s this lovely orange cat just walking in the middle of the street. No collar or anything, but looked healthy and well kept as far as I could tell. I’ve seen him around once before in the next street over.

If I was so inclined, there’s basically nothing stopping me from picking him up and taking him home. That should be somewhat concerning to his actual owners, no?

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

We found our cat young and starving, being left alone outside.
But he was used to be outside and just locking him in would be cruel.
He mostly happily hides in a hole or some cellar around, when he is outside anyway.

We tried giving him a safety collar, but he was already like 6 months old, when we found him and wasn't used to one. So he always got rid of the safety ones and we were too afraid that he should strangulate himself with a non-safety one.
He is chipped. So I hope this is enough, when someone catches him.
But he is very shy with other people and it worked out for 13 years now I'm different areas of the city - sometimes, in his young and wild years, he was gone for 2-3 days, but he always came back happy and hungry :-)

[–] unautrenom@jlai.lu 4 points 2 months ago

A collar or other physical appariments wouldn't stop you from abducting it either. Where I come from and (I assume) in many parts of the world, cats have an electronic chip in their neck with basic info about the owner and how to contact them, which would be discovered when you bring them to the vet.

But I think that's more of a cultural thing. Personally, I consider not letting your cat roam free in the neighbourhood (if you have the ability to let them) unjust and borderline animal abuse, close to how I would consider it if you kept your dog inside all the time.

Finally, taking a cat home out of, what, pettiness(?) sounds like a terrible idea, because beyond any notion of ethics, dealing witha cat you keep away from their territory and the people they know would be both a psycological and financial perspective. If you want to be hurtful to someone, there are easier and cheaper ways to do it than to abduct their pets.

So no, as a pet owner, abduction is really not anywhere near being a concern for me. Getting run over though? That IS a concern, particularly when cats panic. However, cats have far better hearring than we do and can hear cars from a mile away (esp when they're familiar with them).

[–] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

I think the owners assume that no one has been a dick in the last 5 years, and hope it means no one will be a dick for the next 5 either. It seems like you're getting close though so maybe take a different road so you avoid the temptation of stealing a cat since it seems unusually strong in you.

[–] genuineparts@infosec.pub 5 points 2 months ago

That's okay he's a catburglar.

[–] yessikg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago

If people insist on leaving their cats outside, the bare minimum they can do is put a collar on them

[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

no collar + no chip = free kibby

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 47 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Get in, loser. We getting tuna." - Cat

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This reminds me.

I need to check for more frozen tuna at the store. I found this one brand that’s amazing and soy marinated seared sashimi was a big win last time.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I like the bagged ones that are flavored, myself. Had this butter and garlic one that I haven't seen since that was pure heavenly goodness. 🤤

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Well, this was just plain, frozen tuna that I marinated in mirin, soy, garlic, ginger, green onion and minced red chili. (that marinade then became a sauce with the addition of some brown sugar, after searing off the tuna,)

The sashimi may or may not have been duly scarfed.

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Be sure to have it scanned for a chip!

[–] RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One of my cats is still chipped to his previous owner, but I'm sure I'd still get him back, as we're still friends :) He's been my cat for almost 10 years now.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can't find the usb port!

[–] smb@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

maybe its the new standard: USB-Cat

[–] Tujio@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

CAT5 was right there...

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago

My cat adopted my apartment about 10 years ago.

[–] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don’t get a cat, they get you

[–] cicadagen@ani.social 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Exactly, they have been chosen!

[–] Michal@programming.dev 23 points 2 months ago

"quick, follow that car"

[–] pickman_model@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago

Basically, yes. Or to be more precise, this is how a cat gets you.

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sometimes you choose the cat, sometimes the cat chooses you

[–] smb@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago

sometimes the cat chooses you, sometimes you get choosen by the cat?

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That some kinda Eastern thing?

[–] yo_scottie_oh@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

Far from it.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 months ago

Not far off from how I got a cat. Enjoy your cat!

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

thats how a cat gets you, yes

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 8 points 2 months ago

"Catback, Catback, Catback"

[–] lipilee@feddit.nl 6 points 2 months ago

Extra points for the subaru! 🥰

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

That's how I acquired all the cats in my lifetime.