this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
331 points (97.2% liked)

Greentext

4342 readers
1417 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 62 points 1 month ago (3 children)

For anyone reading this who might have anxiety, I had this problem and it just turned out that I really need better support during the day. Boxers weren’t cutting it.

With that said, yes definitely consider seeing a doctor.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hey everyone, this guy has long balls!

[–] JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ol' Long Balls MacDougall we call him.

[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You got long balls Larry. You're Long Balls Larry

Long-Ass Balls

Long-Ball Larry

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

Fuck I love curb your enthusiasm

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

His arch nemesis is WideBalls Fredrick

[–] RarePossum@programming.dev 12 points 1 month ago

Is this your professional opinion, Dr. Wesker?

[–] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Alternatively, as a form of scrotal elephantiasis, it could be a parasitic infection, swollen lymph nodes from either disease or medical procedures like radiotherapy, or more rarely a hernia that causes the intestines to drop into the scrotum.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

intestines to drop into the scrotum

I was perfectly fine without the knowledge that that can happen.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 4 points 1 month ago

Getting a hernia there happens to like 1 in 4 men.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 month ago

What a terrible day to have eyes and a scrotum

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What are "implication arrows"?

[–] clara@feddit.uk 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

> implying you don't know what an implication arrow is

it's one of these: >

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What do they imply?

I know that these stories are often accused of being fake, but I guess I don't understand the context of the response. It seems like the responder is saying "go to the doctor regardless of whether you actually have a problem requiring a doctor." Which I guess could be good advice in some circumstances, but ... Maybe I'm just taking things too literally.

Thanks for the answer!

[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I think it's that people understand that 99% of green text stories are not real, so the reply is just saying yo if this is real, go to a doc.

Maybe I'm wrong tho

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The anon got it wrong. These are ">" or "greater than" symbols, not arrows, although they look like arrowheads. They are used to signal a quote, which makes the text green on 4chan or inside a quote block on other platforms. In 4chan culture, the resulting greentext is not a quote, it has a meaning of its own.

The actual implication arrow, used in mathematical logic for statements like "if A, then B" or "A implies B", is "⇒" or "rightwards double arrow" in Unicode. Using ASCII characters, it can be written as "=>".

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's just how a quote reply works on 4chan but the meaning has expanded.

Edit: as in, instead of quoting the actual comment I reply to, I summarize it as "implying ____"

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] notabot@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you swing them to and fro?

[–] 3ntranced@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Can you tie em in a knot, can you tie em in a bow?

Do you get a funny feeling, when you hang em from the ceiling?

Oh you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] cheddar@programming.dev 1 points 1 month ago

How many VW Passats is low?

[–] Shard@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I think it's better to check with a vet. He solved my dogs problem with dangling balls.