SHOCKER: Napoleon: The Director's Cut is good! It may be longer, but it improves upon the theatrical version with better pacing, restoring scenes and moments that explain the historical and political reasons for the characters' actions and is also a more complete story that makes director Ridley Scott's true intentions, which is to make an anti-Great Man story as an utterly irreverent comedy. The main character is not a Great Man but a miserable jerk, and the message of the film seems to be "Don't trust the myth of any Great Men." This makes it the most subversive historical blockbuster epic of the 21st Century. If you watch it knowing this, it is actually very funny, even if some of that laughter turns bitter.
Ridley Scott seems to have a very strong point of view here, which is in opposition to the "Great Man of History narrative." It feels like he deliberately had Joaquin Phoenix play Napoleon Bonaparte as the most unlikable, uncharismatic, insecure, incel dweeb imaginable. He's petulant and uncouth, makes weird noises with his mouth to get attention, and is prone to tantrums. He's the epitome of every unhappy twelve-year-old boy you've ever had the misfortune to babysit, made even worse that he's a horny grown man, and even sex and love don't make him happy. It's hard for me not to laugh at every scene in which Phoenix does something, either physical or verbal, that just makes this guy utterly appalling and hilariously unappealing. Phoenix plays Bonaparte as if he didn't want to be here, and Paul Schrader's complaint about his lack of charisma might be the whole point. Bonaparte's military prowess or skill does not make him charismatic or glamorous here; he doesn't even take any joy from winning. Some viewers might have found the subversion of "The Great Man" story confusing since we've all been conditioned to treat historical biopics as respectful, but this movie is very funny. The casting of many British comedy actors who are normally familiar to British TV audiences seems to be a clue to Scott's intentions here.
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The French still have a sentimental and romantic view of Napoleon and even his romance with Josephine, and Scott seemed to make it so toxic and horrible as if he really wanted to piss them off. The whole movie gets funnier when you start to think Scott spent over $100 million to piss off the French, which any Englishmen would love to do if given half a chance.
That does, kinda, make sense as I felt the original was rather weird in tone, contrasting the spectacular battle scenes with borderline Carry On (especially Up the Khyber) antics in his personal life, in particular the bedroom antics.