this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 123 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

This happened to my wife and I recently.

We came for a visit and her usual doctor wasn't available. This new doctor flat out said, "I didn't get a chance to read your medical history so tell me what's going on." My wife was confused, because this was her third visit to check her hormone levels. it wasn't a checkup, but a followup.

And this doctor proceeds to not understand any of this, as she keeps asking her questions about why she might be there, instead of spending two minutes reading the medical history.

My wife ends up crying while Im sitting in the corner begging my wife we should just leave because shes not getting anything from this doctor.

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 55 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Like George Carlin said, somewhere there is the worst doctor and someone has an appointment with them tomorrow!

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What do you call the person who was last in class at medical school?
...
...
Doctor

[–] Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Having been a paramedic for many years, I'll take the 80% med student over the no bedside manner, no common sense, overly bookish student who can only think about what the book told them.

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[–] rh4c6f@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is the third time I've read this comment today. I hope Joe Pesci or the sun aren't trying to tell me something.

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[–] Krukenberg@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It's a valid strategy to ask the patient to recap what brings them to the clinic. It's very common to hear a different story from the one in the booking system or in the medical history. I'm not sure about the system were you live but medical history often takes waaaaaaaaaay more than 2 min to read up on. Maybe the last visit was recorded and had yet to been transcribed? Those can be a pain to listen to. It feels very reasonable that the doctor didn't have time to read up on your history if they were covering for a sick/unavailable colleague.

I would 100% prefer a doctor that is upfront about not knowing my medical history over a (more commonly occurring) dumbass pretenting to know it.

It's regrettable that your doctor made you feel neglected. Fault them for that, not the questions.

Edit: *recorded as in dictated!

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 92 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)
[–] Overshoot2648@lemm.ee 30 points 2 weeks ago

cops if you're quick 🤣

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[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 75 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

The doctor’s appointment is not a great example for the US because the system is so fucked. If the doctor is terrible, sit it out, and then request to never see them again. You don’t even have to say why (if/when the scheduler pressures you, just blame the free market: “my care will be better managed by someone else”). Because if you don’t like your healthcare in the US, you certainly can leave, but you will be stuck with the bill, and if it’s considered leaving “against medical advice,” you will be denied insurance coverage if you return for the same issue.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

But also, make sure you have good reason to not like the doctor, regardless of financial implications. A doctor giving you bad news or making an honest but unflattering comment is an easy situation to want to leave, but bailing on that situation is not a good solution.

I'm not trying to say one should never take a stand, just that they should make sure of their reasoning before doing so.

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[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 55 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

But remember most of all young adults: If you find yourself leaving often then the problem might be with you…

[–] voldage@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

While true and valid, also remember that your community can be a problem, or you might be suffering from systemic issues. Not all issues stem from individuals, and some are impossible to solve on the personal level. If you find yourself in the cult, for example, walking away is probably the best you could do, despite the scorn of the community.

[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago

That is true and equally worth pointing out too. I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between a heartfelt life lesson versus a platitude dressed in its Sunday best.

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[–] nobleshift@lemmy.world 51 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.

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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The One Trick That Jail Guards and Prison Wardens Don’t Want You to Know!

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can leave Elon’s personal edging chamber too you know?

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Can you? He likes to sue people who do that.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Learning to deal with unpleasant people and situations is part of growing up. It's often better to grin and bear it, learn something for future you, then never go back.

OTHO, it's a valuable message. You don't always have to put up with the bullshit and should just bail.

So which is it? Well, figuring that out is an aspect of growing older and wiser.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 weeks ago

On the hand other

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 33 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

As long as you don't mind burning bridges*

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

But why maintain bridges to places where you don't want to go?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

An objectionable acquaintanceship may be reconcilable.

The person leaving might not be objective in a situation and might realize that they miss the metaphorical bridge.

A person you dislike might be a valuable resource in other ways beyond social (especially in the referenced example of a medical professional).

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[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There are ways to extricate yourself without causing offense.

[–] Theme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Oh, I just remembered. It's minnow season."

[–] IMongoose@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

I have to return some videotapes

[–] Glitch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I quit a toxic job a few months ago. Scariest thing I've ever done. Best decision I ever made :)

[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

It's easy to quit something toxic, but how do you quit something where all people are well-meaning and friendly and trying to help you, but you are autistic and they simply don't understand what that is? (And you also don't know you are autistic yourself yet)

That was my first uni where I dropped out at winter.

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[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 2 weeks ago

A couple years ago I rage quit a gaming session (during a break) with “Whelp, I’m gonna go do something I enjoy.”

My teammates understood. They were all very good at the game and I was not. I kept getting absolutely trounced, and was bringing them down with me.
It’s now sort of an in-joke/phrase we use unironically when the vibe is off but we still like our friends.

[–] I_Clean_Here@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Erin with the tits is right

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[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 26 points 2 weeks ago

I'll wait till my doctor close my operation wound thank you.

[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 23 points 2 weeks ago

Same for toxic family.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

this should be made more clear to all patients of all ages, throughout life. they can't force you to do anything, or do anything to you that you don't want them to do

[–] zephorah@lemm.ee 10 points 2 weeks ago

Nope. In medical, you educate and advise, the patient decides. Then it’s documented and you move on to the next patient.

In diabetes this is often seen as a foot that is now getting amputated after years of noncompliance with medical advice, but again, all you can do is educate. People decide their own actions for themselves.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My wife hates that I do this because it absolutely burns bridges, but fuuuuck these people

Doctor makes me wait 30-45 minutes 3 visits in a row? I'll walk that third time the second it hits 30m (you got charged for being that late so why couldn't I charge them after all?)

Job interviewer more than 5 minutes late? I'll get up and walk out of your building without escort, I remember the way. If you can't be on time to your own building, go fuck yourself

[–] mdd@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago

I was at the dentist today. Second time they made me wait more than 30 minutes. Aside from that they asked for a much higher payment than I agreed to just one week earlier.

I got up and told them I'm leaving and they can keep the money. The apologized profusely and convinced me to stay. They did get me in and out very quickly after that.

I doubt I will go back for the second half of the work.

Also happened when I took my 5 year old son to the dentist. The doctor's policy was that no parents are allowed on the treatment room. I told my son to get out of the chair and left. Turned out that dentist was trying to put fillings in teeth that would fall out before fillings were even needed.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

I think the younger generations are much less likely to need this "advice" than previous generations, on balance.

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

These posts always have some sort of hot girl in the corner who, despite being in such a small thumbnail, find a way to showcase their cleavage.

Is there a term for this?

[–] mriormro@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Hyperfixation.

[–] flerp@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago

Marketing perhaps?

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[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Only ever left a doctor's appointment mid-appointment once. The doctor said he doesn't believe some of my medical conditions don't exist and I wasn't dealing with that shit

Idk, running from unpleasant truths isn't great either, so be careful that you're not just shopping for a convenient diagnosis and instead looking for the truth. A second or third opinion is absolutely a good idea if you think your doctor is missing something (esp. if they refuse to run a test you think is necessary). Just remember that this goes both ways, so that doctor that tells you what you want to hear could be missing what the others have seen.

In other words, don't mistake hubris for confidence.

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[–] Lizardking27@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

This but tempered in a big vat of "don't be a dick".

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is a weird post. You might get charged anyhow and there might be other negative consequences of just walking out. I mean yeah I agree with the sentiment that you shouldn't have to put up with bullshit from doctors but in America at least you have to be a little more careful about it than just ghosting anytime you like. They have us by the balls and you don't change that by just ignoring the fact.

[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 12 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah you can be rude. They know this

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I just realized this recently. When you turn 18, nobody tells you that nothing is physically stopping you from walking out of whatever situation you happen to be in.

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

I don't like my dentist. But every other dentist has an 18 month waiting list. So I deal with the dentist I hate.

[–] echedeylr@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 weeks ago

I wish it was that issue. Specially while being autist or having ADHD and dealing with RSD or the after-issues.

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