this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
235 points (90.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] quixotic120@lemmy.world 230 points 4 months ago (1 children)

“Besides a bunch of snacks they have no snacks”

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 4 months ago

Maybe anon wants celery sticks. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] psud@aussie.zone 183 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

A bit entitled, this anon. With no money, sponging off his little brother. No surprise the sister in law doesn't like him or trust him

[–] Geth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 94 points 4 months ago (1 children)

A bit? He lives rent free, has no money and complains about the multiple food options that are freely available to him. Grade A narcissist.

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 25 points 4 months ago

And expects them to go back out and pay for his non-problem

[–] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 140 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Please tell me the replies roasted the shit out of him

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 65 points 4 months ago

Tell me you’ve never seen 4chan without telling me you’ve never seen 4chan.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 40 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You can't possibly believe this is real.

[–] Yprum@lemmy.world 68 points 4 months ago

Does it need to be real just to be roasted?

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 59 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is the most believable thing I've seen here. Like, isn't this a normal 4chan user?

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Yeah that's what I'm most curious about.

Is this an oblivious anon posting about something that happened and that he doesn't understand?

Is it a self-aware anon that did do this but understood it to be an awkward and divisive (for bro and sil) but is playing an ignorant persona for the lulz in RL and on 4chan?

Or is this someone who experienced something like this from another perspective and is posting as if they were the moocher?

A fantasy played out by someone in that position who looked for snacks and then thought about how funny it would be to request they buy more food for him?

Or is it purely a creative writing exercise?

Like I think there are people like many of these completely self-oblivious and entitled people out there, but these stories seem to include all the necessary information to at least entertain, which suggests the author is aware of the layers that seem hidden to the character they are writing about.

Doesn't really matter in the end but it can be fun to think about.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I dunno fam, I can see this one happening.

[–] TheFerrango@lemmings.world 3 points 4 months ago

Fake and gay, as all greentexts must be

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 101 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There's a shit ton of world building that isn't on the page here.

Like, how long has anon been there? Is it the first time they've had to move in with family? What's the dealio?

[–] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 93 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is anon a neet who contributes fuck all to the household? Does anon go days without washing? Has anon been caught rummaging around in Stacy's underwear drawer?

We need answers.

[–] Geth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 4 months ago

Yes across the board.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 80 points 4 months ago

Besides [snack], knockoff [snack], [snack] and [snack] they have no snacks.

Idk. Maybe OOP wanted something healthy?

[–] Nomad@infosec.pub 65 points 4 months ago

Anon is a leech

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago

Anon just get a lunch shift at McDonalds and eat all their food.

[–] mobilehugh@lemmy.ca 26 points 4 months ago

shocked by "run pantry_raid.exe” as it was not read as pantry raid.

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 months ago

Maybe mentally

[–] teslasaur@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

This is the perfect representation of how most people would imagine a communist.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Snacking is a path to obesity

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

You're not wrong. Eating just 500 extra calories a day (which is like two donuts, something I could pop down without even realizing I'd done it) means you'll put on a pound a week (3500 calories = 1 pound of body fat) or 52 pounds in one year, which would take a 6'0" 180-pound man into obese territory, per BMI calculations. And TBF that's pretty weak sauce; on numerous occasions I've added that much fat just over the Winter.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago