this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
449 points (90.6% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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Anticorp@lemmy.world
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One way ticket (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by CenturionKing@lemmy.world to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[–] Maven@lemmy.zip 35 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Okay sure... Your daughter was kidnapped or whatever... But who the fuck names their daughter "Virginity"

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Chastity?

[–] Maven@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 months ago

You make a good point...

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Abstinence

[–] SkybreakerEngineer@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Visit The Unbelievers With Explanatory Pamphlets

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

"Prudence", too.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

"Premarital Chastity Jones"

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

spend some time in the deep south and you'll meet a few

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't have any money. What I do have is a very unique set of skills.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

If you come round my place, you might see me cleaning my guns. This might make you scared. Unless you're carrying yours and it isn't completely disassembled for cleaning, which would put me at a significant disadvantage. Unless your gun is too dirty to function properly, then the advantage will be back to me.

At that point, I would suggest just carefully pulling my daughter's virginity out of your pocket, setting it on the floor, and telling my daughter she should get back to doing the dishes because the date is cancelled. Also that she should respect me again. And then leave.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 25 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

"You remember what I told you when she first brought you home? Whatever you do to her, I will do to you twice as hard. Now take off those pants."

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Yes Daddy.

[–] Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

The dad “oh no. She’s pregnant from you already”

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can he even remain mad at that point? He's technically correct, the best kind of correct.

[–] LavenderDay3544@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Unless he has another daughter...

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Is she a beautiful, robot daughter?

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 18 points 3 months ago

– Sorry, sir. Was she using it for something?

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 months ago

“Nah, she gave it to me”

Alternatively: “Yes, but now she has mine.”

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Other than the funny...stay the hell out of your daughter's sex life, creep.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

"Didn't happen with your wife, though!"

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 9 points 3 months ago

“Actually, you got any more daughters?”

[–] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

You give it back NOW!!