this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024
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Relationship Advice

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My fiance's best friend sends him nudes of all the girls he's sleeps with. I find this very disrespectful to our relationship. How do address this before I lose it.

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[–] n4utix@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago
  1. that's disrespectful as fuck. Hopefully your fiancé doesn't do the same about you.

  2. even if he doesn't, if he thinks receiving nonconsenting nudes is okay, he's a shithead

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

The big issue here is the consent of the girls in the photos. Do they realize their photos are being shared?

I'm used to being in relationships where the creation and sharing of spicy content is common, BUT... there MUST be consent established first. If the guy shares the photos without consent then that's a big red flag. What other boundaries will he cross?

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Go on a double date and mention it. If the other girl knew and isn't bothered then it's consensual. At that point maybe not everyone's happy, but nobody need feel complicit in illicit porn at least.

Afterthoughts edit: I noticed that this would be a rather a bold move, and I wanted to draw attention to the fact that as a male I feel safe doing shit like this but recognize that others do not have this privilege. It's nothing but a joke, or at best a revenge fantasy.

These are the kinds of things your fiance finds admirable in a friend? Yeah, red flag. You should find out if the sharing is consensual and if not why he thinks that's acceptable. Digging deep into that might get you answers you don't like but are better off knowing, like the amount of bodily autonomy he thinks women should be permitted to have from men (gross wording intended).

[–] ocnside@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I've decided to address it with the both of them while in each other's presence.

[–] Drusas@kbin.run -2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I'm not usually a "nothing ever happens person", but this sounds like bullshit. Most women wouldn't even consent to having pictures taken of them by someone they're not in a relationship with. And if they're not consenting, surely you would include that in your post.