240
Looking forward to all the Putin and Xi fans having to explain to us how the Taliban has been unfairly maligned by Western propaganda.
this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2024
240 points (96.9% liked)
Not The Onion
12214 readers
650 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Something something, resisting NATO. Something something, western hegemony. Something something, America bad.
Won't be a stretch for Yall-Qaeda
Trump, tommorrow: "The afghanistan withdrawl was a yuge success. The taliban are great people, nicest people you ever met"
Here’s my prediction of what that speech might look like:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I've got a little secret to share with you. The Taliban, they're not just some group out there. They're my friends, good friends. We go way back, way back. Now, I know what you're thinking. Trump, are you crazy? But let me tell you, it's not crazy, it's genius. Absolute genius. Because the Taliban, they're not just any friends. They're the best friends you could have in that part of the world. They're tough, they're strong, they're resilient. And they're not afraid to fight. They've been fighting for a long time, a very long time. And they've been fighting against some very bad people, some very bad terrorists.
And that's why they're not just my friends, they're America's friends. They're our allies in the fight against terror. They're on our side, folks. They're helping us, helping America. And that's why I'm a genius. Because I saw this, I saw this potential, this opportunity, when nobody else did. I saw that we could turn enemies into friends, turn bad into good. And that's what I did, folks. That's what I did. You know, people don't understand, they don't get it. But I do, I get it. I've always gotten it. And that's why I'm the best, the very best. And the Taliban, they're the best too. They're the best at what they do. And together, we're unstoppable.”
The real version might have the incoherence cranked all the way to 11, but I just can’t write like that without getting a headache.
They are the terrorists, dude
It's kind of bad guy versus bad guy out there. Russia is simply picking its preferred winners.
It sounds wacky if you're on a mostly American or corporate media diet these last twenty years, but the Taliban has been fighting terrorists in their area of late. The situation in the middle east has failed to be as simple as GW Bush would have had us believe.
I don't support them obviously, but I at least recognize that this isn't really as zany and ironic as a typical "not the Onion" headline.
Who the Taliban call "terrorists"
- Anyone associated with the previous democratic government.
- Women.
- Anyone with a half decent education.
- Regional warlords that were(are?) bankrolled by the US and previously stabilized the country, protecting it from foreign interests like the Taliban.
Ah, that's why Trump, Putin and Xi love these people.
Sure, terrorists can fight other terrorists. It doesn't make either flavor any better
Sometimes they even fight a War On Terror
Sounds interesting. Care to elaborate?
Is it because one terrorist group has been slaughtering all the other terrorists? Maybe that makes them ok in Putin’s eyes?
TL;DW: Now that the Taliban actually has the responsibility of holding a country together, they're no longer jihadist enough to satisfy the bloodlust of the other terrorist groups in the area, so they're now being attacked as traitors to the cause. Even worse for the people of the nation, these groups have begun attacking other nations like Russia to force another incursion into Afghanistan to topple the Taliban and leave a power vacuum so the more extreme groups can take over.
Wow fanatics eating their own as the never ending purity spiral spins, the world is so full of new things....
Russia has arrayed a coalition against the west and nobody in power wants to admit it. It's not theoretical and it's not meaningless.
Every time Biden mentions it people boo and say he's using boogeymen.
What are Putin's thoughts on The Mujahedeen ?
Taliban and Victor Orban. Both VERY important for Vlad the Imposter.
Geopolitics is such a silly but deadly game.
A game above the heads of nearly peace loving 8+b people.
That's just the multipolar world kicking in
I knew Putin was behind the Talibums all the while. Confirmed, Putin did 911