The USA was the good guys.
this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
14 points (100.0% liked)
Asklemmy
44207 readers
1237 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
That women are attracted to nice guys.
It’s 97% untrue.
Not saying they are attracted to jerks either - in fact my overwhelming impression is that women despise those too (some exceptions exist of course).
Just saying that however equality has come, and should still come, attraction exists at a lower level. And at that level, someone who can hold their own, push their way through and be kind about it, will always attract more women than the “nice guy”.
Before you react - I’ve been together with my wife 17 years, we have four kids and I’m not some kind of player.
Just stating that I was brought up to believe women always prefer nice guys. And in retrospect I can see that I was brought up by a well meaning parents (mother, my dad was in the navy so away a lot) who tried their best to make me “not an asshole”. They succeeded. But I wish my dad at some point had sat me down to tell me a few home truths about how the biology of attraction works.
What is a "nice guy" in your opinion? Because this sounds like bs.
The other guy wisely decided not to comment, but as they say, fools rush in. This is a tough topic to navigate, because the "nice guy" label now mostly applies to those self-proclaimed Nice Guys(tm) who act entitled and turn nasty when women turn them down.
I have had the same experience that OP had. I thought, based on what adults told me, that the proper way was to follow that other infamous dating advice, to "be yourself," live my life, treat everybody with basic respect and kindness, and that would be enough: Of all the women I fancied, I would meet one who fancied me back, and we'd start a relationship. It's not an unreasonable idea, and to be fair, it happened that way for me once, which lent credence to the idea.
I believe that's what OP meant when he said "women are attracted to nice guys." That's certainly the message I got as a young man, and it was wrong.
The problem is that "women are attracted to nice guys" implies that "being nice" itself is "enough" to be attractive. Guys get this idea that all they have to bring to the table is "I'm not a jerk" and the ladies will fall into their laps. The problem is, the jerk down the road is in better shape, has interesting hobbies, and/or has a real, dependable job. Being "nice" is like having two slices of bread and saying you have a sandwich. If you don't put anything between the bread slices, everyone's going to opt to order the burrito instead because it's got an actual filling.
Glad you said it, so I don't have to. The harsh truth that straight men need to hear is that for most of us, nobody will ever love us for who we are. We're nothing but mammals, and mating is a competition.
Why do you think that is different for women?
I noticed there was always a gust of wind after cars passed, so I concluded wind was caused by invisible cars driving by. Storms were caused by the invisible drivers driving too fast.
I used to go outside during storms and yell at them to slow down. I was convinced it was working.
I thought the priest at church was Jesus.
Now that’s fuckin’ funny right there haha.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I thought black and what television was black and white because history happened in black and white. I suppose that means life in colour happened after the invention of colour tv
The invention of color was a big deal
Tangentially related.. The creation of the blue LED was so revolutionary, and took so much effort and science to make, that the guy who discovered how to make blue LEDs got a nobel prize.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Cliffs were fictional. Like the kind you can fall off of.
If I had to pee really bad I would eat bread or crackers because it would absorb the pee and not make me have to go.
I believed until I was 8 or so that beans were a type of meat. When I learned the truth, I had an argument with my older brother with me saying something along the line, "You're gonna feel real dumb when Mom says I'm right."
load more comments
(1 replies)
Demons are real and they live inside your computer delivering your emails and internet. Before computers they used to screw around with physicists and mathematians and break their theories but now they're too busy to do that anymore.
Not religious in the slightest, my dad just saw me asking what Beastie on his BSD machine's screensaver was and decided to fuck with me when he realised I didn't know what a demon (in any sense of the word) was
Adults act mature and rationally
I earnestly believed that quicksand was going to be a far more prevalent danger in my life than it has.
That an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being created all of existence, knew everything that would ever happen and everything its creations would ever do, but still either doomed to damnation or lifted up to paradise each one of them as a result of them doing exactly what they'd been programmed to do