this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024

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submitted 4 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

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[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 108 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Guinea pig bites are the worst.

It's not the force of the bite, although it does hurt (they bite through wood after all). It's the humiliation from having one of the most fragile, easy to kill pets decide that it can express its displeasure by biting your hand.

Damn little meat potato. The only reason you can even bite me is because you're so damn fragile I can't risk dropping you. Also, the reason I'm holding you is to trim your nails because you don't wear them down naturally since you live your entire life on padded flannel blankets. Where do you even get off having displeasure to express?

If you weren't so damn cute, you'd be on the grill.

[–] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 42 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You gotta get the little potato some friends, otherwise they'll develop mental health issues

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Naw, the potato has friends. Mental health is still broken.

She's actually very sweet. She just managed to luck into the discovery that biting gets us to move faster.

[–] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ah, got it.

Yeah sometimes that is the nature of potato love. They live in a world of absolutes and tremendous dangers; they don't always have time for calm reflection.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

they bite through wood after all

trim your nails because you don’t wear them down naturally since you live your entire life on padded flannel blankets

Sounds like you know the problem and ain't fixing it, chief. Leave some thick sticks with them

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

I'm not sure how you reached the conclusion that they don't have wood to gnaw on. They do.

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I've had a guinea pig and he never bit me. Not once. Only licked. He trusted me and I made sure he had a good life. He was outside and free to roam the garden until dusk. And inside the home if the outside was too cold/dark/wet. The garden also offered lots of plants to eat and hide under. He had great avriety in diet alongside the petfood and guineapig essentials. He would join me at the dinner table with his own plate of safe greens. We would snuggle every day. Everytime I had to catch him, it sometimes turned into a chase. He ofcourse didn't want to go into the cage. The cage only served to protect him against predators at night, and from our electronic cables. Which ofcourse he didn't understand. But he still accepted me picking him up when catching him. No biting. He knew he'd be free again come morning. He died how he lived after my dad let him out and left him outside overnight because he couldn't catch him. My only regret is that I didn't know they had to come in pairs.

So what in the fuck are you doing with that guinea pig that it distrusts you so? I literally had to chase him sometimes and he still didn't bite me when I gently but quickly scooped him.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Just one?

Well, if you had more than one, you'd find that they are all different, with different personalities, and you wouldn't be so quick to assume you know all guinea pigs because of your experience with your sole pig.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago

Pigs have complex personalities and every one is different

[–] harry315@feddit.de 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

on the grill

Yum

[–] psud@aussie.zone 3 points 4 months ago

They are made of food

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 95 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Crazy parrot and reptile lady here to confirm. I would much rather take a bite from a large snake any day of the week than take a bite from one of my birds. I've had to get stitches multiple times because of my little feathered assholes.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I have been bit by a conure more times than I can count, I have been bit and constricted by a python once. Getting bit by an actual parrot is a big reason why I haven't gotten into larger birds.

I would rather be bit by the Amazonian Hitler pigeon. Python teeth are like Velcro for skin and it is horrible.

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The key to dealing with a (pet) snake bite is to not pull back in fear. Their teeth are definitely like Velcro. Usually I'd just let them go to town and then run some hot tap water over their head. They don't like the water and immediately let go. With birds you're getting hurt no matter what you do.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I don't remember the exact circumstances, I think I was going to give her a quick bath before a flight(mistake). I was holding her when she bit the meat of my thumb and coiled around my hand and wrist. All 5 feet of her was coiled with her head in the middle of the ball. Water did nothing. I had to wait about a half hour before she got bored, she then peeled her mouth off. I later found out that rubbing alcohol gets them to fuck off immediately, but that was the first and last time she bit me.

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 6 points 4 months ago

Ooo yea rubbing alcohol works too in a pinch. I've been lucky enough not to have to do it. I typically stuck to working with our carpet pythons and left the boas to my husband.

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[–] greenskye@lemm.ee 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

This is scary new information for me that puts a childhood incident in a much more horrifying context. I was at pet store when I was like 10 and one of the parrots seemed friendly so I let it climb up to my shoulder, only for it to painfully bite my ear. It hurt a lot, but no blood was drawn. I managed to get free easily enough. I thought that was pretty bad, but now I'm learning that apparently it could've easily ripped off my ear?!? Apparently I'm a lot luckier and that parrot was actually a lot nicer than I thought.

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 6 points 4 months ago

My African Grey could easily cause me serious damage but he does hold back by only giving me warning bites. He thinks he's being gentle but it still hurts and I don't ever forget what they are capable of.

[–] CodingCarpenter@lemm.ee 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Do they get reported when you get bit? I've heard in some places even if it's your animal you have to report them for biting you

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 6 points 4 months ago

No not where I live. When my husband and I kept hot inverts along with our snakes I kept a comprehensive supplemental insurance just in case someone got hurt, but the laws here only apply for reporting illegal animals.

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[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 61 points 4 months ago (4 children)

PSI... in science memes? 🤮

[–] mexicancartel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 4 months ago

Newton pet meter squared

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[–] Zugyuk@lemmy.world 47 points 4 months ago

Their primary method of interacting with the world is with a switchblade mounted on their face.

[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm almost afraid to ask... How much?

[–] teletext@reddthat.com 78 points 4 months ago (4 children)

The average Green Winged Macaw can generate around 400 PSI in one bite – that’s much stronger than the average human bite!

Moluccan Cockatoo: It’s bite force suprasses even that of the Macaw, weighing in at over 500 PSI.

https://www.parrotwebsite.com/which-parrot-has-the-worst-bite/

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Because my brain is fundamentally incompatible with imperial measurements:

500psi is equivalent to about 35kg of weight stacked into a centimetre square (so 35bar / 3500kpa)

[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Bothered by the units but not the lack of factoring for size differences? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bite_force_quotient

It would seem the unit you want for the SI biting force quotient is the Newton per kilogram.

[–] Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 months ago

I don't think it matters how big the thing biting you is, just how likely it is to rip bits off.

A weasel has nearly 4 times the Bite Force Quotient of a Moon Bear, but I'd take many Weasel bites before a single Moon Bear bite.

[–] onion@feddit.de 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Certainly a big number

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

As far as numbers go, it's definitely a number.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 4 points 4 months ago

I thought it had to be either a big number, or a small number. So, yeah.

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[–] Bassman1805@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

They crack nuts with their beaks, we had to invent a tool for that job.

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 30 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I have been bitten by a cat that meant it and a dog that meant it. I would rather be bitten by a dog. The cat hit bone. The dog did not. The hamster bite bled profusely, but otherwise wasn't too bad. Based on the information in this comic, I am going to avoid birds.

[–] shikogo@pawb.social 22 points 4 months ago (2 children)

What are you doing to be bitten by so many animals?

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The cat was my pet probably 20 years ago. He jumped on the table and landed on a plate of barbecue sauce, so I had the bright idea to try to give him a bath to wash it off. He didn't like baths.

The dog was probably 37 years ago. I was around 13 or 14. The dog was attacking a neighbor kid who was about 6 years old, so I was intervening to save the kid. The kid got away and my yelling attracted the dog's owner's attention. Not until after I got bit. It was some kind of German Shepard mix. My parents and the parents of the six year old reported him to the police, but nothing really happened. I think the owner was a cop.

I hated that dog. He was usually on the other side of a big fence and would bark super aggressively whenever anyone was near. When I intervened he had the kid's head in his mouth. I kicked him in the ribcage as hard as I could, and he turned on me.

I got stitches from both incidents. Four for the cat bite and I think 12 from the dog. Cat was on the hand near the base of my thumb. The dog was on my right forearm.

No stitches for the hamster, he was a pet, but not very domesticated- probably because we had cats in the house too. I was probably about 8.

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[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 months ago

I would bet money they've been bitten by a human that meant it, too.

[–] Lev_Astov@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've experienced the same and always thought PSI is a pretty absurd way to gauge puncture damage like this.

[–] nikstarling@programming.dev 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The thing about dogs is that they don't damage you by puncturing. They try to grab onto your body parts and tear your flesh out by moving their head furiously. In that regard PSI can be a useful metric as it describes how hard it will be to open their jaws.

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[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Depends entirely on the breed.

Bite by a Chihuahua? Nuisance at best

Bite by a Pitbull? Death or horribly mangled for life

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It was a German Shepard mix. I definitely felt like I was fighting for my life.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Fun fact, german shepherds bite more people annually than any other breed!

shows off super-villainesque face scars

And the vast majority of bites are from animals improperly socialized or cared for, and then of course police and military duty. My shepherd bite was from the family dog that my father abused pretty severely.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 24 points 4 months ago

See that beak? That downwards pointy thing? It's meant to crack open tough nuts. You do the math on how much hurt a sharp thing that can crack open some very tough nuts can cause

[–] Raverbunny@aussie.zone 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Crocodiles have entered the chat. For reference, parrots are around the 400psi mark, so rookie numbers

https://wildlifeinformer.com/animals-with-the-strongest-bite/

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 7 points 4 months ago

Came here for the psi top 10, was not disappointed.

[–] frobeniusnorm@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

My parrot gave me 3 earring holes that grew together again. He also liked destroying books and sealing rings.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

How many owners have lost fingers, I wonder?

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

a few times ive seen a bird store owner missing a lip.

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