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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
There's a method, gents. Push the gooch a few times while using your "stop peeing" muscle. Then, pinch the shaft, applying pressure from the underside. Starting from the base, bring your fingers forward up the shaft towards the tip until you get those last few drops. It's clumsy at first, but you build a routine and the drip drip is a thing of the past.
Women who try this: you're just going to end up with your fingers in your vajayjay, not that I discourage that.
There's a faux Christian saying: "If you shake it more that three times, that's masturbation."
What if I can bust without touching it? Does God just congratulate me for the skill?
Had that happen once (I'm a very needy guy, mmmk?). But I'm satanic so I'll let you know when I pick up my penthouse suite from the man himself. Probably throw you a party and bring a dozen guys in to blow you proper until you faint, I guess. No basic-bitch 'congratulations' here. We go all out.
Something about this comment and the way it was written has given me the vague feeling of a deep and interesting story in which you're playing a part. There's an air of mystery to it but a promise of a good time. 10/10 comment.
Tldr Jack it.
Do you mean gooch? Chode is a penis that is girthier than it is long
I guess I've been using that term wrong for a very long term or the definition changed a while back. I consulted the urban dictionary which heartily agrees with you.
Actually, scrolling to page two in the urban dictionary does highlight the contention on the definition, so I don't feel too bad.
There are far more effective techniques out there. Please see this research paper by a top-tier scientist:
https://garry.net/posts/piss-shake
Or it might instead be a blog post by a video game developer, I don't really understand the difference.
I feel that pulling your balls forward and applying some pressure behind them, kind of improves this milking technique but basically, anything that gets more pee out after youre finished is good.
I also suspect that this is not the same between each time and can vary depending on many things
That's right, all men need to know about pressing the button. 🙌🏻
I have seen people explain it but I still can't visualise this. Can you explain in more detail? For science. (But unironically)
"To empty this residual urine, the reported most effective method is called “urethral milking”. To do this, take your index finger and place it in the area between your scrotum and your rectum. Apply gently pressure and move your finger forward, up over the scrotum, and to the base of your penis, effectively draining any liquid that remains. Do this 3 times and then ‘milk’ your penis, gently squeezing from the base to the tip." - https://menshealth.com.au/how-to-stop-pee-drips/
Personally, I only do it once and it has worked wonders. Lmk if you need a visual aid(Unironically, that method fucking changed my life and I think it is so great that dads should be passing it on to their sons).
Yeah, I will have to look up a visual guide for that. I can't make this shit work. Thank you for sharing.
Milk it, like the cow that you are😅
Every so often I think about the fact that there are actually real people with real chodes and it legitimately makes me kind of sad
Put them back on? Don't you mean pull them back up?
What exactly is going on here?
You have to take them off, if you want to sit backwards and rest your phone on the tank
Paprika asking the spicy questions we didn't know we needed the answers to!
Oh shit lmao. Guy is just out here air-drying his butthole for all to see. Some call it disgusting, but others? Efficient. Jensen, promote this man!
There is such a thing as forbidden knowledge, bud. There's a reason for it.
It’s most likely to happen when I’m wearing pants that are light enough to really show through. If my pants are dark and will hide it, my dick probably works twice as well that day.
You at your desk, staring at your dick: "cmon... WORK! You fuckin worked yesterday..."
Your boss who is standing behind you: "wtf"
When you finish tinkling, just give the bit between the plums and the starfish a little poke to get the last few drops out.
You're welcome.
Seriously... However awkward it is to talk about, it worked so well I told my coworkers lol
I keep hearing this but can't seem to get it to work :(
Whats the starfish
You need to bring a starfish from the beach when you go
Listen... If you don't hear back from me, thanks for the life changing advice.
Thats why I always helicopter at the urinal.
Welcome to your 40s
Hey, I'm not even 37.
Our generation has aged a hell of a lot quicker than others, I blame MTV.
My cat’s name is Sphincter.
Look up urethral milking. It helps.
Truth!!! Lord help yah if you wear cargo shorts and the wrong pair of boxers.
“Yeah, the faucet sprayed everywhere.”
Just walk on the spot while shaking your fella, works for me, tricks the little prick into thinking I've walked off.
You gotta switch back to retention mode and relax before storage. There's a little bit of lag when the valve ages.
I mean... Maybe wipe as well? I just use like a square or two of TP and haven't really had any dripping issues since I started doing that.
A dick being a dick
gotta squeeze the grundle
You spelled butt and poo wrong.
See I get around this by not wearing underwear.