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I get what you're saying but instilling fucked up religious values in a kid is a completely different thing than marrying off a sixteen year old to a middle aged man.
Yes, there are different types of grooming and there are different types of abuse.
It is still grooming and still abuse.
I listen to a podcast by a licensed therapist (Dr Laura Anderson, Sunday School Dropouts) who specializes in helping people recover from religious trauma, and honestly, she does argue that high control religion works a lot like the dynamics of abusive personal relationships. She also notes that when people are used to being shamed/coerced/guilted/etc for religious reasons, they're more likely to accept abusive behaviors in personal relationships as well--it's already normal stuff. And most of the arguments I've heard in favor of preserving child marriages comes from religious folks asking "what happens when a 15 year old gets pregnant, the baby needs both a father and a mother!" Instead of wanting to use investigation or nuance, child marriages are a quick fix to always complicated situations.
It's not nearly as different as you seem to think.
This is abuse, full stop. If a child (16 is a child) marries an adult, even if the age gap is only a few years, that means a child is expected to have sex with an adult who should know better. That child cannot understand what they’re getting into.
I’m saying this from experience. I was married at 16 to a 22 year old. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I did not. I was intelligent – precociously so – and from a middle class family. It should not have been allowed, and it fucked up my life in ways I could not possibly have predicted.
There’s no such thing as a benign child marriage.