ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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Mark NSFW content accordingly.
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Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

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Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

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MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world

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110

rejection anxiety and real pain (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Mighty@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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Hey there. I am incredibly sad, downright depressed and mentally exhausted.

I wanted to celebrate my birthday yesterday for the first time (maybe ever?) with lots of nice people. I invited about 30-50 people. Some, I invited personally, some just casually through groups. Lots of those people I thought of as somehow close and friendly.

I exhausted myself in the effort of preparing the party, I rented a room, I prepared photos, activities, food, music, and just put a lot of mental energy into the planning. I have been planning it for about 2 months, invited those who were most important to me back then even.

5 people showed up.

I am devastated. I was always so anxious about my birthday and never celebrated it. I think I removed myself from groups a lot in my life. And only the last two years, I've started to understand my diagnosis and how to communicate with people. This throws all my anxiety and pain back into my body and brain.

I don't know how to deal with it. Especially I don't know how to interact with the people that were important to me and who didn't show (or those who didn't even cancel). My past behaviour was burning down all the bridges. I don't think I should do that. But I also don't know how to pretend like it doesn't hurt....

Any advice about rejection anxiety and ... well, real rejection?

Thank you.

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[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thanks for the perspective. I don't know what to learn from it. Reading the comments here makes me think that many of us learn the same dark lessons: don't socialise, stay alone.

But again: how do I respond to "how was the partyyyy?!"(Big smiles)

[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

"It was a bit of a bust, haha. But the six of us had a good time. How was your weekend?"

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

“Not bad, I had fun.”

If it’s someone who didn’t go, “Hey, sorry you missed it. Maybe next time? It was a blast.”

Try to stay positive. It’s too easy to give in the negativity. Negativity is like a basket of crabs; you try to pull yourself up, but it will grab you and drag you back down. If you’re okay with that kind of life, stop here and keep on keeping on. If you want to be happier, ignore being alone and sad and do something about it (fake it until you make it).

When you feel sad, feel sad. But don’t “be” sad. You’re not a sad person; you simply have sad feelings. And it’s okay to feel things. Allow yourself to process those feelings.

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks for the insights. I don't think I can say I had fun or similar, when I didn't. I had anxiety the whole night and felt incredibly awkward and ashamed.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

That’s ok. It’s a process and takes time. You got this!