this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2024
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An incident which saw two women lock a crying toddler in an aeroplane toilet has sparked an online debate in China on how to manage children in public spaces.

The incident went viral on the Chinese internet after one of the two women, Gou Tingting, posted a video of herself carrying the girl inside the cubicle.

In her post, she presented herself as trying to help others on board, but was swiftly met with backlash.

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[–] andrewrgross@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (17 children)

This is interesting.

It's fascinating how different people and different cultures view this stuff.

I'll say this: the grandmother doesn't get enough attention in this article. To start with, I simply don't think it's considerate at all to fly with a one year old. I didn't fly with my kid until he was about two and a half, specifically because one year olds have little to no self control, and the air pressure can be very painful. It's just bad for the kid and other passengers. And then this grandmother gives the kid some random person? Does that person have kids of their own? It's odd that the article doesn't say.

I don't think confining the child to the restroom was effective or healthy. Now I don't think it's child abuse... unless perhaps if you're filming it for TikTok. As soon as the woman is performing for likes, her credibility as a responsible care giver evaporates. I think filming it was probably the dumbest part of the story.

Really, "L"s for everyone all around.

[–] Badeendje@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (16 children)

What?!

Flying is not always a choice, sometimes you have to go somewhere. And yeah, sometimes they cry, it sucks. When flying a pair of earplugs should be in your pocket.

Locking a child in a small room is child abuse. And when done by a stranger how is it not holding someone hostage.

[–] tmjaea@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Nice downvotes on your post. Must be really nice people who find it okay to lock a little kid into a small room. One can only hope they never have kids themselves.

[–] andrewrgross@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

To clarify a bit: I DO think that what this woman did was child abuse. But not specifically because she locked the kid in a bathroom. Because she did it for a social media audience.

For some context, I use what is often called "gentle parenting" (although I think it's just what I would call "parenting if you're humane and responsive to the needs of a child"). So I would never do this. But I also am very aware of the feeling of helplessness that comes from having a child in distress and having exhausted every remedy I know. I am familiar with the logic that a child who is screaming is doing so for attention, and will stop when their behavior isn't being tolerated. Putting a child into a time out until they stop doing something is not a radical approach. If I saw someone do this on a plane, I wouldn't immediately consider it abusing a child.

HOWEVER: if I saw this lady chatting animatedly into her phone's front facing camera while dragging a distressed kid (to whom she's not addressing her attention) toward a lavatory, I'd immediately think, 'Oh fuck: is that one of those people who turns every moment into a social media opportunity? That kid needs rescued.'

I think it's an omission that the article didn't recognize this. This woman didn't just put a kid in a bathroom to try to get them to calm down (dumb idea, but not abuse by itself, imo). She did all that while talking to strangers and saying, 'Hey everyone! Look at me! Look AT MEEE!'

THAT is what makes it abuse.

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