this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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Online dating industry in crisis as shares fall and nearly half of all users report negative experiences on the apps

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I've never used one of those apps, but the risk of being defrauded or, worse, assaulted, would be way too high for me to take that sort of chance.

[–] Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can't imagine how unpleasant I would feel if I was defrauded or harmed because of using a dating website. I'm going to call that 'appalling', although that's too weak a word.

I'm so happy that I met my wife through circumstance and chance and we just love each other and that's it.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

I got married before smartphones were a thing. I'm just lucky my wife loves me even though I'm an idiot.

[–] ji17br@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It’s really not that hard, don’t give out personal info. Meet in a public place.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Long cons are a thing. I think I would just try to date people I already knew or just stay single. But I'm not the most trusting soul after getting burned a couple of times when I owned a business.

[–] ji17br@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but that’s not an issue with dating apps. That’s just an issue with humans.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world -1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

True, but dating apps put you in touch with strangers as possible dates rather than people you already know. I admit this is way out of my ballpark and I'm just speculating about myself. I don't think I'd do anything like speed dating if that's still a thing either.

[–] ji17br@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There’s no one I know that could be a potential partner. I’m assuming many people are in a similar boat. We have to date strangers anyways, app or no app.

[–] WelcomeBear@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That sucks.
I don’t know if this is a thing anymore but “back in my day” your friends/family/coworkers/roommates would try to hook you up with other people that they know are single and might be a good match. Especially the older ladies in your life, that was like their mission in life. Aside from that, you might ask someone who runs in overlapping circles that you’ve seen a few times if they want to get coffee or lunch.

The closest thing to Tinder-type dating would have been “cruising” on a Friday and Saturday night, driving up and down the Main Street of your town, hanging out in parking lots to talk and make plans for the night. Even then, you would ask “where do/did you go to school” and “do you know ____” “are you related to” type questions to establish your “degrees of Kevin Bacon” relationship in the social network.

So there was no need to date total strangers. That would be considered kinda weird and suspicious, which is why online dating was heavily stigmatized in the late 90’s/early 2000’s. I went on a few match.com and eharmony dates but kept it secret, telling only my closest friends, out of shame. They thought I was crazy, meeting up with strangers like that.

A few horny guys would try to chat up every random stranger and it occasionally paid off for them, but that wasn’t really normal behavior.

I think we’re all more mobile now, moving from city to city for work, so those networks are probably shattered for most people.

I feel so incredibly lucky that I dodged the dating app bullet, it seems awful for guys to try and compete in that space. And for women, having creepy dudes be creepy with no repercussions, with no way to tell their mother/aunt/sister to smack some sense into them… not great.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Like I said, I'd probably just remain single in that case. I just am not trusting enough of total strangers. If a friend set me up with someone, I'd do that. But I would be too suspicious to date a total stranger.

Just me personally.

[–] ji17br@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Different strokes for different folks. Been on many dates with strangers, it’s almost always enjoyable. Turns out 99% of people are just normal people. The 1% of crazy people are the stories you hear that make people not want to go outside. Id just rather not live my life in fear.

It's also worth noting that things are different depending on cultural context. There's huge shifts in public perception, and these can very much influence the chances of meeting "crazy" people.