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Also I'd argue that none of this really matters because language doesn't follow an absolute set of rules. Language is how people use it. If people start using a word to mean so thing it take son that meaning, it doesn't matter if the word makes sense in relation to other words.
A word for something isn't a 100% accurate description of that thing and it never has been. It doesn't matter that a peanut isn't technically a nut, we call it a peanut. Everyone understands that it's a peanut. If you walk up to someone on the street and say "do you know where I can buy some peanuts" they will understand what you are saying with no problems at all.
We spend way too much time arguing over the "right" and "wrong" uses of words. There is no such thing really. Words don't determine their own meaning, people determine that meaning, and if enough people can regocnize a words meaning immediately when they hear it then it is a word with a valid definition. It doesn't matter if the word is contradictory to the way other similar words work, because language isn't defined like that.
Ironically this whole stupid "homophobic peoe aren't scared of gay people" actually proves that the person making that claim does acknoedge that the word homophobia is linguistically valid, because they are acknowledging that it's understood definition differs from what you would expect if you strictly read the word literally
Further, even their efforts to portray it as "silly SJWs constantly inventing new terms for things" falls flat on its face because "homophobia" has been a widely used and accepted term for literally decades. It's a pointless (and incorrect!) diversion in pedantry. Plus, it ignores the fact that there is value in actually having specific terms for common things, actually. The reason we have a specific term for anti-gay bigotry is because it's a concept we as a society talk a lot about, so it's simply useful to have a specific term we can use to specifically address that phenomenon. No single person gets to play pedantic petulant child and dictate how the rest of us use language. Language is perhaps the single most democratic thing humanity has, as the meaning of words (and what words there are!) is solely determined by everyday participatory democracy.
And language changes with time and culture. A great example of this is the word 'literally'. At this point it's become a synonym of 'figuratively' with younger generations, just about the exact opposite of what it once meant. Some might argue that's just using the word wrong, but if people are able to understand each other when using the word in that way, it's clearly a working definition, no matter how odd.
So even if homophobia meant actually being afraid of gay people at some point, even that would be irrelevant. At the end of the day, the meaning it holds today is the only thing that's important.