this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 166 points 3 months ago (2 children)

A genuinely heartwarming greentext. Probably fake and gay, but heartwarming nonetheless.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 88 points 3 months ago (4 children)

As a gay, it's definitely gay. There's secret text that only gays can read. I can't tell you what it says or the ghost of Anderson Cooper will have me excommunicated from the gay Mafia, but it's there.

... I fear I've said too much already.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The gay agenda is keeping the secrets of 4chan from the normies confirmed.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 months ago

The government already knew. Check out the documentary The Men Who Stare at Posts

[–] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

ghost of Anderson Cooper

Are you people able to become ghosts even while you're alive? How do I learn this power??

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 6 points 3 months ago

By asking this question you have initiated the ancient ritual. Three spirits will visit you on the eve of national coming out day. You will have to blow them to gain your answers.

[–] TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

I think I know

Randy Marsh from South Park covered in ectoplasm from the episode "Over Logging"

[–] match@pawb.social 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

@dharmacurious i am here to rescind your prostate

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 months ago

Noo! Not that! I've been good! It won't happen again!

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

While reading this text I definitely read some text. How do I know if that was the gay text or just a regular text?

[–] blunderworld@lemmy.ca 36 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Maybe if you're American... Seems like pretty fucking weird behavior to me.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Meh, pretty low on scale of weirdness. Pizza employees remember regulars well. Friends of mine are vegetarian and also have some specific exclusions because they don't like an ingredient. Each time she calls in now, when they hear her voice they immediately ask "vegetarian pizza with xx, without yyy, zzz, medium?" And all she says is "yup", confirms the address and it's ordered. Having a "quirky" guy call in with requests like these makes for a cool story you tell your new coworkers, a break in a busy day ("captain america called!") etc. At the end of the day you're not forced "to play the game" after all, you can just deliver and not interact.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

Yep, worked pizza delivery throughout college. There are some people who just become part of the schedule. At my place we would do stuff like keep a clean pizza slicer and paddle ready to keep things halal for the Muslim couple who ordered every Thursday night.

We had a set up with a shut in that predated anyone's employment at the store. Every Friday as soon as we opened we would drop off 2 cheese pizzas at the porch and take the money left in the mail box. Never met the person, but they had a pretty sweet deal because they still only paid the price from like 6 years before because no one could ever get a hold of them. They just became kinda a store tradition.

We also had a couple of older regulars that we would literally call and check on if we hadn't heard from them in a while. This was nearly 20 years ago in a small college town, so things may be different now.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

it's so weird to me that people get so much out of living in the country they were born in. I've lived in 5 countries, it's not that different.