this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2024
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Man, I saw a guy once getting stood up and I was really sad. The guy was seated, waited, asked for something small, waited more, changed tables to free space for a larger group and then paid and left. I mean, everyone here probably went on dates that got nowhere. Finish the meal, shake hands and leave separate. It’s part of life. But the golden rule is never go into the restaurant alone. Always meet outside l, somewhere else.
Spoken like someone who isn't afraid of potential dates. Lol.
No way I'm meeting privately on a first date with someone I don't know. I'd rather be stood up in the restaurant.
I’d say, do coffee. Cheaper, and easier to leave when any party decides the date is over.
Exactly. Coffee, ice cream, or something like that. Perfect first date.
coffee instead of a free dinner? put that on your profile and see how many hits you get. I'll give you a hint, it starts with a decimal place.
If you're not getting a date, I guarantee you, the word "coffee" in your profile is not the reason.
I’m no golden rule and I assure you, coffee date is on my profile. 1-2 dates a week. I’ve also had coffee… then some lunch… then dinner. All about connecting and not being a dumbass. No one wants to be trapped on a date that isn’t working, coffee or even just breakfast, is the best option.
Such a sad state of dating. You think it would start with interest in the person rather than interest in a meal.
bitches be hungry
I've always done coffee for first dates, from dating apps, or otherwise. It's a great, relaxed atmosphere for getting to know someone. You can go for a walk, or chill in the cafe, then, if things are going well, and you both want to go further, you can get a meal after. The last woman I did this with, five years ago, is now my fiancée
Women worth dating tend to find coffee much more appealing as a first date than an expensive meal.
Maybe you just have a hard time identifying the women worth dating? Many people do.
They're also far less likely to be on an app
You can just meet outside the restaurant.
You just don’t go in before you meet them outside the front door.
Hell, it can even be a chivalry test to see if he holds the door for you.
Bugger that, I'm not loitering outside the door like that, I'd rather be inside.
Same, depending on the restaurant.
I don't tend to "test" the people I date.
But I don't have an issue meeting either way, so long as it's communicated. I mean... meeting outside the door is still meeting at the restaurant.
What do you mean privately? I said do get into the restaurant. Meet at a mall, on a bench, in front of a store. If they appear, good, have a 5 minutes conversation and go to the restaurant.
I’m from the time of mIRC, where I met a few girls, including the one who has been my wife for the past 22 years.
Genuine question - do people seriously have dates in restaurants? I'm 32 and never have I ever been asked on a date in a restaurant. Cafe, sure. But a full on meal with a person? I literally don't know anyone who went on a first/early date in a restaurant. I assumed that's a 90s thing that was nowadays only taking place in movies and sitcoms.
I did. Restaurants, movies, parks… I don’t recommend movies. We met, got to the theatre, watched the movie, but we didn’t actually talk, because, well, movie. How do you call that big sidewalk alongside a beach? That was awesome. Long walk just talking and listening.
Esplanade?
And yeah I agree just a long walk'n'talk where you don't have to constantly look at the other person is kind of the best to get to know someone.
And ffs movies... I had one first date at the movies and this was really awful. Especially since afterwards we drove home (not together). Like, what was that even?
The only way it works is if you go have drinks afterwards and heatedly discuss the movie. But for this you have to meet a cinemaholic and the movie has to have been at least not neutral. Maybe still better on a second or third date than first.
Maybe I've never been to a restaurant because I effectively stopped dating at 24 and before that I just wasn't in the age group that could afford restaurants?
I’m your age and I’ve done it several times, including with my husband.
The caveat is that you start with coffee or a drink (my husband and I arranged to play mtg and have a beer), then the conversation is so nice that you order food or move from a cafe to a restaurant.
Now that I think about it, all the good relationships I’ve been in that weren’t with friends of mine involved dinner tacked onto the first date. When I’ve dated friends, it’s a very different progression, but doesn’t really involve restaurant dates at the beginning.
Once I went on a date with someone, we were both perfectly reasonable and polite, and we both felt zero chemistry midway through the date and ended it early. It was the best terrible date I've ever had.
They usually have a spot by the entrance set aside for waiting for the rest of your group.