this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
158 points (98.2% liked)

The Onion

4470 readers
1383 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

This week, a groundbreaking advancement in drone technology has overbearing parents nationwide sighing in relief and children hiding in terror. Drone manufacturer HoverHawk released their latest product: the Helicopter Parent, a drone designed to provide around-the-clock, relentless supervision of your soon to be traumatized children.

The Helicopter Parent, a sleek black quadcopter, comes equipped with the latest in surveillance technology, including 4K cameras, facial recognition, and a megaphone for issuing real-time scoldings from your smartphone.

The new drone can hover silently or employ a “gentle hum” setting for those who prefer a more constant, oppressive presence, also features thermal imaging for night-time monitoring and a proximity alert system that sounds an alarm if a child steps outside a designated area, such as their front yard, school, or out of arm’s reach of a parent.

Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] JoanCandy@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago

The new drone can hover silently or employ a “gentle hum” setting for those who prefer a more constant, oppressive presence

sign me up 😆