this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Rules for Fae (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/rpgmemes@ttrpg.network
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16725859

Rule

Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:

  • Avoid eye contact.
  • Never reveal your full name.
  • Accept nothing They offer you.
  • Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.
  • To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.
  • Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.
  • Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.
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[–] neo@lemy.lol 50 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I'm trying to come up with a dialogue that follows these rules, but it gets weird fast.

You ghoulishly sloush around the aisles, avoiding eye contact at all cost, but still a customer talks to you:

C: "Hi, excuse me. I'm looking for tomatoes."

You: "We are out for today."

C: "Oh, that's unfortunate."

You: "" (still avoiding eye contact)

C: "Well, how about I come back tomorrow?"

You: "There will be a new shipment of tomatoes by tomorrow."

C: "Okay, great! Then I just come back tomorrow?"

You: "If you come back tomorrow, there will be a new shipment of tomatoes."

C: "Are you alright?"

Avoiding eye contact, you silently slither away.

[–] activ8r@sh.itjust.works 28 points 5 months ago

Uh-huh. What's wrong with that? Seems perfect.

[–] RandomLegend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 5 months ago

Describes my typical retail experience, i wouldn't call that weird at all :D

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 18 points 5 months ago

This seems accurate

[–] Tropper@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago

I don't know why, but I can only read this in a robot-like monotone way. Which makes it so much better.