this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Autism
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@DaedalousIlios @cogitoprinciple Reading about the author’s life at university to me was like „ok, that‘s been me so many times“ 😁. It really is a good book, even though it seems many autists (including me) struggle with the identity-building exercises.
Struggles with identity building sounds like my life
@cogitoprinciple Many autistic people struggle with that. All your live everyone around you signals your feelings or opinions are wrong and you have to adopt NT-feelings. Everyone: „Birthday parties are great! Gotta love it!“ Me: „Mh, no, actually they suck and are exhausting as fuck“. Everyone: „No, what‘s wrong with you!!!“. Everyone wants to be normal, so you learn to hide your true self quickly. Not me anymore. I‘m settling for „autistically normal“ now🥳
Yeah, I force myself to go to a lot of big social events, that I don't want to go to. I can't add to the conversation, because either I don't know anything about typical topics of conversation, or there are too many people talking that I can't keep up, so I just sit there and wonder why I bothered going. Additionally there's the sensory and social overwhelm, that kicks in. I'm still figuring out my limits, and how to set healthy boundaries.
@cogitoprinciple I only like events like that if I know I‘ll have an interesting conversation partner who will stick with me the whole time. Nothing more awkward than finding myself alone having to acquire one. If I’m successful, it’s not even a permanent solution because they like changing their partners at these occasions 😂. And the stuff that‘s being talked about usually is of no interest whatsoever. Listening to my autistic self and not going saves me a lot of hustle now.