Unpopular Opinion
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Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/
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You don't have "somebody running the front end" though, it's all done by the people providing hosting services.
Think "crypto philosophy as a message board" but instead of having everyone sync the whole history you split all data randomly in a way that guarantees it is stored on three servers at all time.
Heck, you could also have multiple front ends if you wanted, all pulling and pushing data to the same servers and this way you could log in from any of them, the front end would only have an influence on UI/UX, in the background the data would always come from the same places and for this reason the front end dev wouldn't have the power to block communities.
Ok. So just like Lemmy but communities are spread using some hash table over multiple existing nodes?
Yep, divide everything so no one has real power and it's the users that decide what they want and don't want on their feed, allow the hosts to decide if they want to host NSFW content or not (and the users can make the same choice), make it so the users don't have to decide what instance they register with, their credentials are just stored in the database.
For the front end you then have two ways to deal with it, a single one and the hosts "vote" on how to deal with it (crypto style) or the hosts are the database that anyone can access and it allows anyone to create a front end...
Your second scenario where the hosts decide and the users choose the hosts is what Lemmy is doing now
Not really though, with Lemmy the host and front end are the same. You access Lemmy from hacker talks, I access it from shitjustworks, both our respective instances host our respective data and provide us a UI to access their instance and could decide to only give us access to the content that they host as some instances already do.
What I'm talking about is front end devs not having to host any of the content themselves, just accessing the database hosted by others and showing that info in the UI they developed and pushing changes to the database when the users sign up or post comments.
Front end doesn't have control over where the info is stored and don't store anything locally, back end doesn't have control over who's pulling and pushing data, they can just choose to filter out NSFW content from their own servers but it just means it won't pick them to host that content and will instead pick servers that don't mind hosting it.
In this way the hosting is the same as any hosting services but completely decentralized and the data is open to all and no host can wipe it because of the backups (contrary to Lemmy where if an instance disappears all the content it hosted is gone).
So the data would be stored in something like IPFS? Or ceph?
Ceph has issues because the The metadata nodes needed for disc admission are central points of control
IPFS could work, but the cost of hosting go up exponentially. But yeah you could build Lemmy on top of IPFS