this post was submitted on 06 May 2024
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I hope they have some kind of telemetry system.
TOP 10 BY LENGTH
TOP 10 BY GIRTH
TOP 10 BY % of methane emitted
TOP 10 BY DECIBEL
interpretive grunting / prayer (In some regions known as seis de mayo) - I'm afraid this requires judges at the ready, so may not be practical.
what other empirical measurements could offer meaningful opportunities for competition?
We're gonna make the shitlympics out of this
Needs an achievement system
PLUMBERS JACKPOT - you clogged the toilet more than 10 consecutive times
FIBER AT HOME - no loose stools for a whole month
LIKE CLOCKWORK - you are super regular for a whole month
METEOR EXTINCTION - you had a poop that was more than 1% of your body weight