this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
692 points (99.4% liked)

The Onion

4431 readers
1010 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “As we continue to rightsize the Tesla workforce, we have come to the decision that stopping the car is no longer a critical function,” said CEO Elon Musk, whose announcement came as a shock to the team of 500 Tesla workers responsible for the electric vehicles’ braking systems. “As the brakes never really worked anyway, we figured the team’s existence was redundant. Going forward, none of our models will be outfitted with brakes. Instead, we will shift our efforts to making fart noises louder.” At press time, Tesla staffers responsible for wheels were reportedly nervous after receiving an ominous meeting request from HR.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Tulitaa@kbin.social 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Pls don't give him any idears

[–] You999@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

The worse part is that it's completely possible for tesla to get rid of the brakes and rely solely on the motors for stopping, at least on the vehicles with AC motors. It would be a really stupid idea since braking effort is directly tied to the shaft speed meaning you get less brakes the slower you are moving and you wouldn't be able to brake while fully charged but hey it's still possible.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Depending on how a motor is designed, you can definitelly break using power by changing the cycle or reversing the direction of the current.

Though if I remember it correctly, it's not great for an electric motor to do it.

[–] You999@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

It's only bad for DC motors to use dynamic brakes (proper name) and even then it's only bad for them when coming to a complete stop. Using DC motors to slow down is perfect fine. AC motors don't suffer the same issues and can utilize dynamic brakes at any speed including to a complete stop