this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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Blåhaj Lemmy is a Lemmy instance attached to blahaj.zone. This is a group for questions or discussions relevant to either instance.
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I for one do not mind admins that are concerned with civility or respectability. Forums should be about talking to people and I will always prefer to talk to people with civility and respect.
This comment has been bothering me for the past two hours. I just don't know how to respond to this perspective which clearly comes from a very different lived experience. Assuming you were a Redditor before, which types of subreddits did you spend time on? I spent most of my time in the past few years on TGCJ, which could be described as the most "anomalous" of the major trans subreddits. I see a lot of the TGCJ spirit in Hexbear, in how anti-respectability-politics and anti-tone-policing it is, and this is probably why I'm so invested in defending Hexbear even as a non-member.
Because I have moderated communities that live and die by the quality of their discussion and I understand that once you slip too far, you will not come back. Rabid circlejerky instances that promote dogpiling do not facilitate discussion and as a whole are bad for the health of the threadiverse. If people can't have a reasonable discussion here they will simply leave. That does not mean that I think hexbear should not exist, but they should probably be contained to their own corner of the broader threadiverse.
If only there was a way to be a user of both and browse them as one feed, this whole discussion wouldn't be nearly as consequential.
TGCJ is fine, but TGCJ culture stays in TGCJ spaces because outside of TGCJ, it's just transphobia. I get that that place is great for people, and I respect its right to exist and have no problem with the people in it, but I don't want to be confronted with TGCJ memes every time I log into my safe space.
That's kinda how I feel about Hexbear's behavior so far. My understanding is that Hexbear has a very supportive culture, and that their "dunking" happens in the context of being supportive of their own? But that's not what we see out here. Out here it just seems like they're toxic and hostile, and even as someone who ostensibly should feel left unity with them I just feel alienated.
Maybe it's my fault for not being familiar enough with their meme culture. But at the same time, they should be making more of an effort to be aware of what space they're in and the fact that they're in community now, and not everywhere has the same norms.
That said, I still am glad we're not defederating. The admin team over there seems to be making headway, and I think we should let them try to improve before we cut them off preemptively. My hope is that the culture shock will pass with time.
Couldn't have said it better myself. That's why I added rules for CW's, post titles, and the /j tone indicator to Blåhaj Lemmy's TGCJ, after seeing someone post something absolutely vile that ended up showing up in non-members' feeds.