Found Satan

My coworker and I made our own Sriracha and kept a bottle in the work fridge. It was labeled and dated. The lunchroom thief was raiding our Sriracha, which was no big deal in and of itself. The dick move was that this person would make a mess on the outside of the bottle and not wipe it off. So we put some one million SHU capsaicin extract in the bottle, which we enjoy, but melts the face on most people who aren't dumbasses like us.

Total fail: it turned out the thief also preferred the hotter sauce.